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Post by awakening2012 on Apr 2, 2009 19:07:08 GMT -5
I think I'm going through a certain morgie stage right now....I am at the transition between a previously normal(ish) life and one of a isolated morgellons existence. That appears to be the stage it's moving through at thee moment. On some days i am plagued with the electrical sensations. The activity often leaves me fatigued and tired nearly all the time. It seems that everytime i attempt to have a good rest the morgies get very active. I i mean... when they get goin they really mean business.. It as if they what to keep me form having a good rest. I truly believe this thing has it's own consciousness and it own will. It behaves in such as predictable and strange manner. Does anyone else "feel" or sence another presence in their bodys? It is always at night than i get the worst ever activity. Awake
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Post by justhanginin on Apr 2, 2009 21:01:59 GMT -5
Awake, Try sleeping with no covers, keep your body cool. This stuff loves heat and getting at all sweaty just helps the fungal component to thrive. are you using an anti-fungal soap or shampoo. Nizoral is a good one. I still swear by bathing with borax in the bath water. It has heped me immensely.
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Post by awakening2012 on Apr 3, 2009 8:57:49 GMT -5
I will take your suggestion. It does seem to respond to temperature change. I do think fungus has a role in morgellons definitely. I doubt fungus is the primary component though. This affliction is far more than that. This affliction seems to interact with almost machine like behaviour. The Fungus is probably just a opportunistic pathogen. I will try some anti-fungal shampoo or other product.
Awake
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Post by bannanny on Apr 5, 2009 3:47:18 GMT -5
I've been dwelling on that again myself Awake... that morgs is farther out in space and time than anything could possibly ever be. It sure is messin with me again right now... it's about the third time it's done this in the past 6 months. I gotta say, it's the worst morg experience for me when it puts me thru these episodes. Components, machine behavior, a demon-like intelligence, etc... those are exactly the same things I think about when I'm in this stage I'm in. In fact I looked at some of the stuff I was desperately trying to pull out of me last night with a simple magnifier and it scared the sh*t outta me. I felt like I was seeing something not of this world. That's all I wanna say about it right now.
Wish I could tell you what would help. If you're feeling the same kind of things I'm feeling tho, I need those answers too. The only thing I've learned so far about these kinds of episodes, is try to relax and get your mind as far away from it as you possibly can. It fights you harder than it ever does tho, so if that doesn't work, make yourself sleep so you can't think or feel.
I'm gonna go back to bed again now cuz it won't let me be. I hope you feel some relief soon... I'm praying for you Awake.
hugs ~~ bannanny
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Post by awakening2012 on Apr 5, 2009 8:55:31 GMT -5
That's exactly right about the feeling of this thing. It is so bizarre the way it behaves. It like it will deliberately attack. I think your right as well about the demon like behaviour. It probably not that mysterious though. It's just a comparision. This is like something that crawled out of the bottomless pit. I can't help but dwell on it because it's always just beyond my awareness. As soon as i attempt to go to sleep it's on my mind. It works again me both mentally and physically. I can't get away from the fact that this thing as a will and it's own consciousness. Whatever it be artificial as in a machine or an actual sentient being... I Suspect it could be both. If it were a machine i believe it could be receiving new instructions in the form of EMF. I'm just trying to put down my thoughts about this and be as logical as possible.
Awake
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Post by massena on Apr 5, 2009 21:46:17 GMT -5
Awake, I'm sorry that you are having such a bad time with this. I too have been feeling the electrical part a lot more just in the last week or two. Everytime I get in or out of my truck I get shocked. The way I'm able to get any sleep is I have this little fan that I put about 5 inches from my face and just turn it on when things get too warm, it seems to help some but your right my mind keeps going so it's hard to keep from thinking and turning the mind OFF.
massena
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Post by bannanny on Apr 6, 2009 2:04:33 GMT -5
You kinda blow me away everytime I read something you've written Awake. You seem to be feeling and thinking the same things I am.
I think some kind of programming is goin on with this too... and I also feel something is about to happen. It becomes really intense during this stage, but it seems to be even more so this time. It's so hard to explain isn't it? I know what youre sayin tho... just don't know what we can do about it.
I'm so sorry you're feelin the electrical stuff now massena girlfriend. I wish I could help you too dam it. You're pretty determined tho and you've got alot of spirit so at least I know you have that on your side! Give Bella and kitty a hug for me...
love ya's ~~ bannanny
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Post by awakening2012 on Apr 6, 2009 15:14:50 GMT -5
I also feel that something imminent is about to happen, and i'm not generally a paraniod person. I keep having the thought of being linked up to a huge network. Something like being joined into a collective consciousness where we can be controlled... If you've seen the old "star trek" where they have the "borg cyborgs" something along those lines. I keep watching those programs because perhaps they knew something? I was never a big fan of science fiction though, but this morgellons has really made me think. I keep saying to myself "they knew". Whatever the reason for this technology i am sure it is being used for mass manipulation. At some point i believe something is going to happen.
Awake
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Post by violet on Apr 6, 2009 15:29:13 GMT -5
I've been dwelling on that again myself Awake... that morgs is farther out in space and time than anything could possibly ever be. It sure is messin with me again right now... it's about the third time it's done this in the past 6 months. I gotta say, it's the worst morg experience for me when it puts me thru these episodes. Components, machine behavior, a demon-like intelligence, etc... those are exactly the same things I think about when I'm in this stage I'm in. In fact I looked at some of the stuff I was desperately trying to pull out of me last night with a simple magnifier and it scared the sh*t outta me. I felt like I was seeing something not of this world. That's all I wanna say about it right now. Wish I could tell you what would help. If you're feeling the same kind of things I'm feeling tho, I need those answers too. The only thing I've learned so far about these kinds of episodes, is try to relax and get your mind as far away from it as you possibly can. It fights you harder than it ever does tho, so if that doesn't work, make yourself sleep so you can't think or feel. I'm gonna go back to bed again now cuz it won't let me be. I hope you feel some relief soon... I'm praying for you Awake. hugs ~~ bannanny Hi, Awake and Robin: Just try to remember that the Lord is in control of everything--everything--and nothing more than he has planned for each of us is going to happen. If this illness is part of his plan for us, I'll bet you feel like I do--that it is okay, and we're ready to do it. We love him, and we know he loves us. No matter what, we are in his hand. Whatever he is doing this for through us, it's for good, it's for his plan, and we can trust him. It really takes the fear away and gives hope to what often feels like a hopeless situation. And IF there is a demon-like part to this affliction, the Lord is still in control, even over Satan. You can rest in that. "For I know the plans I have for you, says the Lord. Plans to give you a future and a hope, not destruction." Jeremiah 29:11
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Post by ibzahp on Apr 6, 2009 18:35:42 GMT -5
Hey Vio;et Masena and bananny's . I was feeling unusually well untiill last night. Thats when that electricalmagnetic nonsense got out of hand again for me. I was up all night. Also couldnt seem to get enough air. I would lie down for awhile only to sit up in bed for air. Even the Ambien didnt bring sleep. Now it is a beautiful day and I have been too tired to enjoy1 I notice tho that the sky is pretty hazy.
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Post by ibzahp on Apr 6, 2009 18:39:22 GMT -5
Awakeit sure does seem to have some kind of hive mind.
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Post by bannanny on Apr 6, 2009 18:41:19 GMT -5
I know you're right violet, and thanks for the reasurrance. When it gets so overwhelming I lose what's most important... which is my faith. I guess you could say I'm at that point again... but this time I feel like the volts are really bein turned up with this thing.
The last few stages I've experienced have been so awful that I always think it can't get any worse. But it does, and this one I'm goin thru has become worse than the ones I thought couldn't be topped. There always seems to be an added something every time. Like Awake says... it's another transition stage.
I try to keep a sense of humor to get myself thru it, but I feel that's beginning to deflate again too. Morgellons tends to have the power to take alot away from me. That's when I can't hold back the depression it can so easily slap on me too, and I'm about there again.
This time, it's feeling so strangely different tho that I can't even explain it. It's like it's simply refusing to allow me to fight back at all... physically, mentally, and even spiritually. I woke up in the middle of the night last night with an overwhelming feeling of doom or something stupid like that. It was kind of eerie too. Like there's something around me that's very powerful, but I don't know what it is. Like I said, it keeps getting harder and harder to explain ya know?
My thought processes are so bizarre right now. I didn't even feel like me when I woke up today. So all I can do is keep praying... and yeah, I do believe God has a plan for me. But I don't believe He's responsible for what's happening in our world. He's not the one who's behind all this. It's the individuals on this earth who have made it their plight to destroy His creations as fast as they can...unfortunately the rest of us are suffering from what those people have done and continue to do.
It feels like I'm being eaten up and electrocuted from the inside out tho right now. My muscles are jerking to the point where they almost knock me outta my chair, fibers are flyin everywhere, the vibrations are real strong, the volts are higher than ever, I can't think, I'm even havin a hard time talking. It's like I'm in another dimension or something too... I'm seeing so much goin on with this sh*t again, I feel like taping my eyes shut. It's everywhere I look and it's some scary stuff to me.
But I know I have to accept what I can't change too... and that's when I start feeling lost again. That's when I start to wonder what I'm supposed to do to get past it. The reason being, I know God isn't just gonna up and take this away... He doesn't own it. That's when I don't understand what my faith is doing for me as far as withstanding the pain and with all that I see. That's when I start to question things... even tho I hate it that I do. Does it make any sense to you why I feel that way violet?
Am I supposed to accept the fact that no matter how much worse this gets every time, that I have no choice but to get thru it somehow until the day I can finally go home? I need you to help me out with this one. Why is it so hard for me to hold on to my faith the worse it gets? Or is that the lesson I'm supposed to be learning here? If it is what He's trying to show me, I wish He could show me how to do it. I'm not angry with Him, I could never be angry at Him. I just don't understand anything right now.
hugs ~~ bannanny
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Post by glennb on Apr 6, 2009 22:59:20 GMT -5
When this stuff kicks in I fight back with what I think will attack the known (or assumed known) components of it. I agree that it is a combination of biological pathogens (that have most likely been spliced together in a bio lab) and self-replicating nano-technology. The nano tech is building various machines in our bodies, purpose yet unknown but probably has to do with controlling and transforming us in some way. The pathogen itself imo also has nano components combined with various parasite and mold/fungal genetics. Super engineered Shistosomes, Trypansoma Gambi, Tapeworm, flukes and other parasites seem to be involved along with spiders, flys, moths. Mold and fungal components are a very important component as well, (go to carnicom.com and read the results of testing on what is produced by the wine/peroxide swish tests).
What I fight back with is anti fungals, parasite medications (sometimes applied to the skin with DMSO), frequency (Rife therapy) treatments on parasite,infection,mold,fungal and cancer settings and soaking in baths to which a good deal of sea salt and baking soda have been added. High doses of VitC and making sure I am taking nutritional and other recommended supplements including Opaline Oxy,is also important. These steps do seem to knock it back abit.
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Post by violet on Apr 7, 2009 13:20:56 GMT -5
I know you're right violet, and thanks for the reasurrance. When it gets so overwhelming I lose what's most important... which is my faith. I guess you could say I'm at that point again... but this time I feel like the volts are really bein turned up with this thing. The last few stages I've experienced have been so awful that I always think it can't get any worse. But it does, and this one I'm goin thru has become worse than the ones I thought couldn't be topped. There always seems to be an added something every time. Like Awake says... it's another transition stage. I try to keep a sense of humor to get myself thru it, but I feel that's beginning to deflate again too. Morgellons tends to have the power to take alot away from me. That's when I can't hold back the depression it can so easily slap on me too, and I'm about there again. This time, it's feeling so strangely different tho that I can't even explain it. It's like it's simply refusing to allow me to fight back at all... physically, mentally, and even spiritually. I woke up in the middle of the night last night with an overwhelming feeling of doom or something stupid like that. It was kind of eerie too. Like there's something around me that's very powerful, but I don't know what it is. Like I said, it keeps getting harder and harder to explain ya know? My thought processes are so bizarre right now. I didn't even feel like me when I woke up today. So all I can do is keep praying... and yeah, I do believe God has a plan for me. But I don't believe He's responsible for what's happening in our world. He's not the one who's behind all this. It's the individuals on this earth who have made it their plight to destroy His creations as fast as they can...unfortunately the rest of us are suffering from what those people have done and continue to do. It feels like I'm being eaten up and electrocuted from the inside out tho right now. My muscles are jerking to the point where they almost knock me outta my chair, fibers are flyin everywhere, the vibrations are real strong, the volts are higher than ever, I can't think, I'm even havin a hard time talking. It's like I'm in another dimension or something too... I'm seeing so much goin on with this sh*t again, I feel like taping my eyes shut. It's everywhere I look and it's some scary stuff to me. But I know I have to accept what I can't change too... and that's when I start feeling lost again. That's when I start to wonder what I'm supposed to do to get past it. The reason being, I know God isn't just gonna up and take this away... He doesn't own it. That's when I don't understand what my faith is doing for me as far as withstanding the pain and with all that I see. That's when I start to question things... even tho I hate it that I do. Does it make any sense to you why I feel that way violet? Am I supposed to accept the fact that no matter how much worse this gets every time, that I have no choice but to get thru it somehow until the day I can finally go home? I need you to help me out with this one. Why is it so hard for me to hold on to my faith the worse it gets? Or is that the lesson I'm supposed to be learning here? If it is what He's trying to show me, I wish He could show me how to do it. I'm not angry with Him, I could never be angry at Him. I just don't understand anything right now. hugs ~~ bannanny Our sweet, sweet Bannanny Robin. I so appreciate your openness and honesty and sincerity. No one I know of, even the best theologians, can explain some of the things you ask. What I try to do is remember something that Philip Yancey in his book "Where is God When it Hurts" said, something to the effect that God lives by his own rules and doesn't exclude himself from suffering. We have the most strong example of that from his dying on the cross and all the physical and emotional pain that brought to him, but also from so many other things he experienced that were difficult when he came to earth. We just don't know this side of heaven why these things happen. The Bible doesn't really tell us, but it does let us know that the Lord is with us through our pain even when he doesn't take the pain away. I also think that the Lord (1) knows and appreciates your desire to be close to him even when everything within you is struggling against it and (2) our faith and love for the Lord doesn't depend on our feelings. Keep remembering if you can that the fact is that you are his, and your feelings are not going to change that. It's just like human love in a good marriage where there is not always harmony or feelings of love :-), but that doesn't change the fact that the marriage is intact and that the commitment is there and that the love is not gone, it's just not being felt at that particular time. Those are the times when you can love by your actions--showing the Lord you are committing to serving him regardless of your feelings because you love him even though you don't feel it. And...you can always tell him exactly how you are feeling! He can take it. He already knows how you feel, so you can go ahead and let it all out at him. :-) And ask him to help. I remember going through a number of years in my forties when I was so very, very, very angry at God and didn't understand why in the world life didn't turn out for me with the ivy-covered house and white picket fence with a yard full of kids and a dog and cat. :-) I never got an answer, and it took literally years until I was able to not feel angry all the time. I know how lpainful this condition is for you, and it seems you are one who is really struggling more so with it than many. I think back to some of your posts where you just couldn't even stand being in the house any more, and how the electrical component was physically and mentally driving you crazy, along with the mold and your cracked tub being such problems. I think of you and others and pray for you (and for all of us). I'd recommend any of Phillip Yancey's books which are all on the subject of painful, difficult things happening to people who love the Lord. He's an interesting read, and a top-rated author (who also was a classmate of mine in college, so I'm a little biased, I guess). :-) He has said things that have really stuck in my mind that have helped me through difficult times. Billy Graham also speaks very highly of him--I think he said he feels Yancey is the most effective contemporary Christian author that he has read. Love you so much, Bannanny. We all do. Violet
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Post by bannanny on Apr 7, 2009 19:38:54 GMT -5
Ya know... this right here is the reason I go ahead and let it out to you guys when I get lost in it all again and can't find my own way out of it. You help me so much with what you say and you help me see what I can't see at the time. That's why I call this place my lifeline... I know all of you are the reason God led me here in the first place. I suppose He knew I wouldn't make it without you. He knew I'm the kind of person who would need to have others in my life to go thru this with who would understand every aspect of it... and He was right. This thing is way too much for me to have to be alone with. If the doctors understood it (let alone the government) then I'd be fine with it on my own. But as frightening and bizarre as morgellons is, and with everything it makes us feel... I would've been committed without you guys here to go thru it with.
It's not something I feel ok with at all tho when I fall. When I tend to forget how Jesus had to suffer so and that children are lying in beds right now as we speak who are suffering... and for the most part, they continue to remain so brave and loving thru it all. That's why I love you all so much... you bring me back to that kind of understanding. You never ever fail me either. I thank you and I thank God that He made sure our paths would cross.
I love you guys ~~ bannanny
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Post by glennb on Apr 11, 2009 15:20:15 GMT -5
Bannanny,
I am very sorry to hear that things afre not going well. Are you using any treatments? What treatments have you used in the past? I find it very helpful to know what has worked or not worked for others.
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Post by bannanny on Apr 13, 2009 1:21:57 GMT -5
Oh it's ok glennb... we all go thru these dam cycles. This particular cycle is the toughest for me tho. But it's already starting to calm down a little. They can last up to 2 weeks at a time and I'm just going into the 2nd week now, so that's a good thing.
I'm one of those who tries anything and everything tho and nothing seems to work. Right now I'm doin a whole body cleanse that takes 2-3 weeks to finish. My normal routine now consists of Kyolic 103, Buffer PH, HCL w/pepsin, Oxygen, Milk Thistle, Lecithin, Vits B6 and 12, Vit A, C, calcium, magnesium, vegi plus, ac vinegar and willard water. I was using an infrared pad on my bed but the girl who let me use it had a relapse herself and needed it back.
It's the electrical sensationsa, the crawling, the feeling of being rolled in fiberglass and the gel oozing from my hands and feet that really get to me. I've been having more and more muscle jerking lately too. They about knock me right outta my bed sometimes!
I wish I could tell you what works but I haven't quite found that yet myself. I'd say the only 2 things that help me out at all are accepting what is and my faith... I pray alot.
hugs ~~ bannanny
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Post by awakening2012 on Apr 13, 2009 8:23:30 GMT -5
Hello nannar's i thought you left! Those cycles are definitely something aren't they? Things are now settling back down with me.... I thought the electric sensations were never going to end. It really had be on edge for about a week... The previous symptoms seem to get worse during a bad breakout. symptoms go into remission during the quite times between cycles too. Some of my symptoms even go away if i don't have a relapse. I think the body has a change to recover. At the moment the only problems i have is the brain fog and quite a bit of fatigue. I believe the morphology (size/structure) of these things changes with such new cycle. Each time i experience the sensations they are stronger and feel like they are within the muscle tissue. I have begun feeling them in in other areas to. I feel them in my face and in my ears. They till seem to be concentrated on my scalp a good portion of the time. One area i can particular feel them is in the nose area....It can get extremely irritating. Some of the more strange things i have experienced latey are the flashes light i described and other perulier sutff...I just don't know where it's going to go next.
Awake
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Post by bannanny on Apr 13, 2009 18:24:11 GMT -5
Oh it would take something pretty devastating for me to ever leave this board Awake! I tend to stay away from the puter tho when I'm in the ugly of ugliest cycles. Can't do much when the stuff starts oozing from my hands ya know?Especially when my hand starts stickin to my mouse and my fingers stick to the keys on my keyboard... yuck, yuck, yuck. I still haven't found anything to clean the goo off with that works for longer than 20 minutes at a time before it's back again. It's downright irritating!
I agree with you that morgs changes in size and structure... mine started in my hair and it's made it's way thru my entire body now. It's grown beyond what I have left for it to grow in. Sometimes I think it's just doubling up anymore... I don't know where else it's gonna go. It sure seems like it's progressed fast with you sweetie. You've only had this for a year right? I'd say it wasn't until my 3rd year that I realized it was systemic thru and thru.
I've been feeling so strange tho lately. Like we're all being programmed at once to feel the same kinds of things... or there's some kind of communication goin on with our morged out bodies. It's hard to explain, but it's a real strong feeling that I can't shake. Just what it might be tho, I'm not sure. I just feel a communication of sorts goin on. I'm probably just headin into looney land tho!
big hugs ~~ bannanny
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