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Post by bannanny on Jun 14, 2010 16:58:58 GMT -5
I know you remember my posting pics of my beautiful new grandson back in February... I've also told you my story of how my son was given up for adoption since I was only 16 when he was born... it was my dad's choice, I had no say in the matter. I also told you how we finally met each other when he was 23 and have become very close since then. It hurts my heart tho that history is now going to be repeated. My son has told me his wife simply can't allow me to be around little Zach for fear he may get morgs from me. I wanted to see them all before leaving for Maryland to spend the rest of my life with Tom... who by the way has helped me thru this in a way I needed so very much. I'm so lucky to have him in my life and I love him with all my heart. He also told me that one day this will be resolved and then I'll be able to hold my son and grandson in my arms. I have to believe that now... but I'm asking for your prayers to see me thru until then, if indeed the day ever comes. I do know this... if not here on earth, one day we WILL see each other cuz I know that's what Heaven holds for us all. I guess I just needed to share this with you, my family here. I love you guys ~~ bannanny
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Post by justhanginin on Jun 14, 2010 19:38:02 GMT -5
Bananny, This is one of the most painful things about this disease . I don't go near any young children, anyone with poor immune responses ( my brother who is on chemo). Don't hug anybody at all and I miss doing that but would not want to be responsible for exposing anybody to this scourge.
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Post by kammy on Jun 15, 2010 8:21:10 GMT -5
Banny, I know this must hurt deeply, my heart goes out to you. This is part of the curse that the devil has loosed on us, our disease is a thief that robs us of everything that is honorable and good. I especially feel for the grandmothers that are afraid to hold and nurture their babies for fear of giving them this disease, what a pity for a child not to know the love of its grandmother. I know you must feel rejected and not loved but this is not the case, they are just trying to do what is best for the baby, try not to take it personally, which is hard to do. And, since we don't know much about if and how contagious we are... we must look out for the best interest of others, especially the babies. I'm so sorry that you're having to experience this... what a pity for the children. Love you...xxxooo
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Post by ruth on Jun 15, 2010 11:43:06 GMT -5
nan, i was the one who reclused myself because of the infection potential. my children got mad at me for this and said the importance of a grandmother supercedes all else. their belief in God is absolute so they leave it to Him. i thought, sure, because you really don't understand what it is like having this crap............. but i talked to sidney about it and she told me that all her grandkids have slept in her and her husbands' bed and they are fine, so i went on vacation to hawaii knowing water releases the spores. so far, so good. as it is in our environment, if you are one of those that are suseptible and come across it............. ?? who can really be protected?
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Post by bannanny on Jun 15, 2010 16:13:17 GMT -5
Yes... even tho I understand, I won't lie and say it doesn't hurt. But I don't take it personally kammy. I feel so much for all of us who've had to endure this kind of thing. I used to be in that place where I wouldn't hug anyone either jh... it was even me who wouldn't get near my son again after I was hit by morgs. He wasn't the one who had a problem with it... I did. But now that I believe morgs is NOT contagious... it's too late.
My son's wife and mother are from whom this is all coming from. His adoptive mother never did like the fact that we met each other and became close... and I've never met his wife becuz it was still me who was afraid to be around them. That's why I understand where they're coming from... but all that's changed for me. I just wish I could make them understand that it's not the way it works anymore. I honestly believe now that morgs isn't contagious... everyone I've been close to these past 6 yrs. (including mom) would have it if it was. I feel the same way you do ruth... it's out there everywhere now and you're either gonna be effected by it or you aren't. In fact... I see it on almost everyone. I see the sparks, the silver streaks go across their faces, and the fibers. I feel it on those I do hug now too... yet they don't feel it. I don't know if we'll ever know why that is.
But like I said, I do understand so I'll handle it the same way I had to handle not being able to see my son the first 23 yrs. of his life. I tried to see if he might come out on the 27th with Tom and me when we go out to see the dolphins. It's the day before we leave for Maryland and I just wanted to at least be able to see him again if that's all that's possible. But I guess his wife doesn't feel right about that either. She thinks I'll contaminate him and then he'll transfer it to Zach. I don't even know if they want me to send them the gifts I bought them in St. Croix since I handled them... I'm waiting to hear back from him on that. But he's always in my heart and I'll carry little Zach in my heart too. I do have pictures of him and will do just what our beautiful Sue had to do with her new grandbaby. I'll hold his picture to my chest and go on.
Thanks for the support you guys...
I love you so much ~~ Robin
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tom
New Member
Posts: 48
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Post by tom on Jun 15, 2010 16:49:38 GMT -5
It is heart breaking to hear the storys of what a morgy goes through, not the disease itself but the effects of the disease, on their life and the lives of their loved ones and friends, seclusion, obsession, to name a few. Morgys who have been researching this disease for years (some of them) will say they are not sure if it is contagious, I have heard others say they avoid sexual contact because they are afraid of contaminating someone. Yet every morgy I know and I have met 5 morgys in person, gave them a hug and or shook their hand and spent the day with them, I have yet to not hear one of them say, oh, look theirs a morgellons fiber, and we were in a office bldg, or a hospital, or a car a grocery store etc. so if it is everywhere how can you, you as a individual contaminate someone when they are already exposed to it everyday, everywhere. Sue would not let the kids or friends in the house for a long time, it broke her heart, to do so but I understood her reasons. Eventually all of them said the heck with that we are coming to see you and the heck with what you think. Its been 8 years and all of you know what we have been through in this house, not one of them ncluding the ones who bathed and bandaged Josh and Sue have morgellons. I will say this one more time IT IS NOT CONTAGIOUS, you get it or you dont but you cannot give it to someone, its like me saying I will give you air, heck air is everywhere. But I do understand that other people dont understand the disease and their need to protect their loved ones, and to you Robin I am so sorry about your sons descision, and to all of you out their with simular situations I feel your heartache, and am sorry, I know how much it hurts you all, hopefully in the future and we all know that life is long, you will hold your sons and daughters and your grandbabys and you will one day love and be intimate again with no reservations
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Post by bannanny on Jun 15, 2010 17:29:04 GMT -5
No reservations... I love you Tom.
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Post by fritolay66 on Jun 15, 2010 19:44:21 GMT -5
Bannanny,
I am sure sorry to hear of this going on. I must say your grandson is beautiful. And he was born a Hoag eh? (The hat)
I believe that someday, your son, his wife and mother will have a change of heart. I really do.
I am another in which has sequestered themselves. I can say, I have dated a couple of times since developing this. One, a fellow morgie had a worsening of symptoms, while another did not. Nothing. My son has this as well, my sister for a short time, and my brother does not. I do not have contact with either of them anymore and haven't for quite sometime. My cats also had it. I have yet to own another pet since then. My bird died of it.
I have had friends that had lesions develop on them as well and then some did not.
So Tom, I will have to respectfully disagree with you. But I can understand why or how you could feel that way. Here are some of my own personal opinions on what each of us should consider.
1- In the case of Morgellons: They haven't even identified what Morgellons is, how can a blanket statement stating it isn't contagious even exist? 2- If 94% of morgellons sufferers in fact test positive for Lyme, the jury is still out on whether Lyme is able to be sexually transmitted.
Another thing about Lyme, and the only reason why I bring Lyme into the picture is due to the supposed high correlation of Lyme to Morgellons associations. Even within the same strains of Lyme, they do not affect the sufferers in the same ways. Some develop arthralgias, others neuro lyme, others dermal lyme, and so on, so essentially the same strains can affect differing body systems within the sufferers.
As far as sexual transmission, the observations of some with Lyme is that it was transmitted through sexual intercourse. The observations being that only the one partner was bitten or known to be bitten, while the other was not and did not have Lyme prior to the partnership.
Then there are those couples in which also experience the one bitten but the other not, but the partner does not show symptoms and clinical diagnosis' are negative. So some partners develop lyme while others do not. I myself, believe this difference to be due to the difference in the affected body systems. They have identified lyme spirochetes in semen. In others they have not. Just depends on where it goes in the sufferer. And I would also be same to assume the same occurs with a womans reproductive system as well. So, if supposedly 94% of Morgellons sufferers test positive for Lyme, then how many would find spirochetes within the reproductive system? Certainly not all, but absolutely certainly not none.
3- In the case of mites, springtails, and other arthropod infestations, these can very definitely be contagious. And how many here in which have these ectoparasites identify themselves as Morgellons sufferers or Lyme sufferers? Arthropods are definitely being associated in some cases of Morgellons.
Additionally, an ectoparasite could then very well be a factor in vector transmission from one family member to another, and so on and there for lending to a vector transmissible contagiousness in that regard. 4- How many other conditions that have been identified by Morgellons sufferers are contagious? 5- Same question for lyme sufferers, how many other conditions have been identified with Lyme sufferers in which could be contagious? 6- In my own experience, I have given this to others, or others have noticed symptoms while in contact with me, and then at other times, nothing.
7- And to wrap this up, doctors, whether LLMD or MLMD are helpful in their knowledge and useful in their position, but not one of them is likely to convince me that it is strictly not contagious and from the above, you can understand why.
There is atleast enough doubt at this point in time, whether it be vectored or atleast many of the conditions associated with each of these, Lyme, Morgellons, and ectoparasites that a statement like this should not even exist. There is no overwhelming fact that it is not, whether it be through the condition itself or its associated conditions.
With respect to you Tom,
Frito
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Post by friskers on Jun 16, 2010 13:18:21 GMT -5
Aw bannans Im sad for you. Im glad you understand they are just being protective even if its going overboard . New Moms are often overprotective of their babies . I hope you can write and call and have them send pics . i know its not the same but at least you can still be in touch . Hopefully this will pass ! My friend handed me her baby once so fast I just held her at arms length and said"I dont do babies,take her back" it was so awkward! I worry about them too at least the first few months of their lives they havent built up their immunity yet. Have you seen DR Mathews yet? And if so how did it go?
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Post by bannanny on Jun 16, 2010 13:36:25 GMT -5
I understand what you're saying too frito... as I know Tom does. We all have diffferent opinions on the contagion factor and I won't dis-respect that in anyone. But I agree with Tom only becuz there hasn't been ONE person who's ever gotten this from being around me, not a one in 6+ years. So again... how could it be contagious? Also... Tom is still free from any symptoms at all and he's had contact with quite a few morgies including Josh, Sue, and now me.
I do however see it on Ladybug... Tom told me Sue did too. My 3 dogs also got it and it took their lives. That was back when I too felt it was contagious and vowed to never be around another person or animal again. It was the first time in my life I was without them and it left yet another big empty hole in my heart.
BUT... things have changed since then for me. I've gone ahead and been around animals and babies too this past year. My friends told me to stop worrying about infecting them or their pets... and even their children and grand children. They said they would've had it by now if it actually were contagious... and I can only believe now that they're right. So like I said... I've changed my mind about this being contagious cuz it simply hasn't gone that way. What more proof do I need than that?
But it's only my opinion and I must say... now that I feel it isn't, I've been able to be around animals and even babies again. So far, none have been effected in any way at all. I think it's the same with animals as it is with people too... they're either gonna get it or they aren't. It must have something to do with genetic make-up. The only thing that's ever made sense to me is that us morgies (animal or human) are who make up that 30-40% of the population lacking the gene to fight off all these new environmental toxins and we're just gonna have to try and balance our bodies back out again and move on the best we can. But I do know we all have different views and I don't expect anyone to see this the way I've come to see it... I respect everyone's right to have their own opinion and I always will.
big hugs ~~ bannanny
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Post by bannanny on Jun 16, 2010 14:05:21 GMT -5
Ooooops... you posted just before me friskers so I hadn't read yours yet when I hit reply.
No need to be sad for me girl... I'm not alone in this one either. But thanks for your heart and your supoort... I thank every one of you for that. You're such a good family... what would I ever do without you?
You're right too... at least I can stay in touch and see pics of my grandson as he grows up. In fact there's been a terribly sad situation just happen in my family... one that makes me feel blessed just knowing my son, his wife, and little Zach are here, healthy and being loved by those who are in their lives.
My cousin, his wife, and their children live in Nicaragua since that's where his wife was from and wanted to live. Plus, two of her children were from a previous marriage and had always lived there too. She and Johnno were expecting their 2nd child when she suddenly had to have an emergency C-section. My dear sweet Uncle Louis and Aunt Jacque had just gone there to visit when it happened. Long story short, the baby survived but my cousin's wife didn't. Being Nicaragua is an old world country and she died in the ambulance, they simply turned around, brought her body back home, layed her body in their bed, and left. There aren't any funeral homes where they live either, so my cousin and uncle had to go buy a coffin, place her body in it, and bury her themselves in a cemetary.
So what right do I have to complain when others are suffering like this? I'm just very grateful now that my grandson is alive and healthy and getting the love he needs.
I love you ~~ bannanny
P.S. Yes... I did see Dr. Matthews twice when I was in Maryland. He's wonderful and doing everything he can to get my symptoms under control. I really like him and have alot of faith in him... which is so nice to finally be able to have in a doctor.
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Post by fritolay66 on Jun 16, 2010 23:17:46 GMT -5
I absolutely respect your stance and opinion as well. And am very comfortable in disagreeing on this aspect, because your experiences are completely different than my own. I thank you for your amicable stance. Good discussion.
Frito
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Post by toni on Jun 17, 2010 7:15:22 GMT -5
I know there's no need for me to comment really, but I too feel strongly that Morgs is contagious - in that it could be caught (depending on the cycle) the host is in. People I know, it seems - begin showing "health problems"... it's just a matter of time "before the people they associate with get it" *soley my observations*...and Morgs displays itself in quite different ways with everyone.
Mr Toni for example. To look at him, and his tests from the doctors, oh... he's like the picture of health. BUT....here's HOW I know. We've taken and made a small scratch on his skin, and applied the "glycolic cream 20%"....and globbed that onto that scratch and waited 10 minutes. Guess what happened.
The tiny black/dark brown "particles" then emerged into the underside of that cream! Oh yeah. This can be distinctly seen "only by leaving this particular cream on for approx 10 min while sitting very still.... then flipping the little mound over ONLY with a thin card, as to not mess it up. Awkwards test I know, but it works.
My sis (did the same) with the cream because she thought for certain, she didn't have it. I said "try the scratch test sometime". She did...and yep....tiny dark granules then were all under that glob of cream when she took a biz card and flipped it over after that cream had sat ontop of "her skin scratch" for 10 minutes. ( I call this my scratch test) Silly, but it works.
I know "our opinions on this remind me of the game Scrabble".. heheh in that there's no way to prove a played word is really a word IF there's no dictionary to prove the word exists.
Sort of the same thing with Morgs in a sense. We only know what we see, because there isn't much else to go on. But time will tell, and as always, it's good we all have different thoughts and beliefs.
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AKA Jess
Full Member
Sweet Disposition...Never Too Soon...Oh, Reckless Abandon...Like Noone's Watching You....
Posts: 161
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Post by AKA Jess on Jun 18, 2010 9:55:17 GMT -5
Nanny, These things take great tolls on us throughout the scariest and most miserable days of ours lives... It's not going to break you, but it hurts like hell in the meantime and I am sorry that you are still sick and can not be a grandmother yet. It is not your fault, it is not your fault. As much as it hurts your heart, you and I both know that we would protect our newborn baby the same way if we were someone who wasn't personally infected, it's instinctive. Chin up sister. You are a goddess and you need to know that. We love you very much around here! Guns Up
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Post by bannanny on Jun 18, 2010 16:49:46 GMT -5
Thanks frito girl... and yes, it was a good discussion! I like it when we can agree to disagree, unlike some of the threads that've been surfacing lately. Those kind really make my heart hurt cuz we're supposed to be giving love and support here... not doin a bunch of silly arguing over what one thinks and what another might think, altho every family on earth will disagree at times. But still, we don't have to push each other away over it.
Something hit me when I was reading your post toni... something I think will explain easier what I'm thinking about this contagion factor. Maybe morgs being contagious or not isn't even something we need to be discussing. Here's why...
It's just like you said when you experimented on Mr. Toni's skin. Cliff C. has reported how the wine test will show fibers in EVERYONE... not just those who are feeling the effects of morgs. Sooooo... now I'm thinkin "contagious or not" really doesn't even apply here. We know morgs is out there. It's in the food we eat, the air we breathe, and in our environment, to name a few. So where would the contagion factor even come into play? You're simply effected by it or you aren't (and in different ways.) So again... it must have something to do with our individual genetic make-up, be it animals or humans. Like cancers... they aren't contagious either. It just depends on how your body fights off whatever it does or doesn't. Makes sense to me anyway... but like you, I agree it's good to have our different ideas to share. I just feel so bad when people fight over them.
Thanks for your beautiful words Jess... words that I totally understand too. I'm gonna be fine... and so will my son and his family. God's watching over them for me and I know He'll take the best of care too. You also made me feel so good inside by saying what you said about being loved by you guys... always know how very much I love you too and I thank you for always being there for me, no matter what I bring to you!
biggest hugs ~~ bannanny
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Post by friskers on Jun 18, 2010 22:19:26 GMT -5
Hi Bannans So sorry to hear of you and your cousins loss. What a hardship for them . Iyt does remind us to be grateful fro what er DO have in life. Are you taking any meds from Dr Mathews? So Happy your happY!
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Post by bannanny on Jun 19, 2010 15:31:44 GMT -5
Hey friskers! Yeah... it does make us really think about the trials we go thru when someone else suffers so very much over something entirely different. We all experience them tho... that's what life's lessons are all about I guess.
I am on a new protocol from Dr. Matthews but he asked me not to post it publically for now. Only reason is he's been hounded already for his license... just like other docs who have tried to help us. All I can say is it seems promising to me, but I also haven't been on it long enough to say whether it's gonna help me or not. We're all different, so time will tell. I will say this tho (again)... Tom has helped me a great deal. His heart is bigger than morgs will ever be is why. I hope we can all get on with our lives and start living again. It really does help in more ways than I can say!
I love ya's ~~ bannanny
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Post by friskers on Jun 20, 2010 15:57:23 GMT -5
Love is probably the best medicine ;D
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Post by kmarie on Jun 20, 2010 17:21:33 GMT -5
Love is probably the best medicine ;D Friskers, that is such a sweet and very true statement.------------------------------------------------------------------ Bannanny & Tom,
Wish you both much happiness!
Kmarie
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Post by jeany on Jun 20, 2010 17:54:51 GMT -5
Friskers, you are sooo right. With love we can manage everything and what a cute idea with the smilie pic for Nanny & Tom, Kmarie! Here's one from me too: and much love to both of you, Nanny & Tom!! Love Jeany
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