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Post by godog on Jun 8, 2007 21:16:30 GMT -5
Well, I finally have broke down and made a doctor's appointment. I am going tuesday. This is at our missouri health department clinic, Jordan Valley which has received 10 mil from the state. So, I have a bad sinus infection and really sick and run down so they will give me antibiotics and I am going to bite the bullet and tell them I have morgellons and probably lyme too. I don't know what to expect and I am going to take samples too and some flour to maybe, if it seems appropriate, to do the flour water thing so they can see firsthand. Also, my worst areas are directly on my rectum, so this should be fun. Not!!!! Anyway, not having a boyfriend to describe and I can't turn my head 180 degrees, so I don't know what they're gonna see. But it feels like to me and my fingertips that there are some sizeable holes there where the main channels or tracts or tunnels where this stuff comes out. It comes out everywhere but over time, some main thoroughfares have developed. What should I say and what should I ask for? I have to develope a gameplan for maximum success. I'm so messed up and my back and lower back is really messed up. I have been advised my back and lungs qualify for disability and I have bad backaches all the time and lungs hurt too. It's all connected. I'm a mess. I just pray they will help me. I am so nervous about this. Any advice out there? Last time I took antibiotics I herxed so bad I wound up in hospital ER and was completely swollen from head to toes and Everwhere inbetween, even my hooha. Gosh, I don't even know how to begin to tell them what's wrong.
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Post by friskers on Jun 8, 2007 22:19:32 GMT -5
Good luck Godog!! You know you can very easily get a look at your backside with a hand held mirror ;D I will pm you if you need instructions!
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Post by godog on Jun 8, 2007 22:32:21 GMT -5
That is very kind of you to offer to walk me through the process of looking at me own bum. I am not sure I want to see it. I hate showing my a** to doctors. So undignified.
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Post by Carrie♥ on Jun 8, 2007 23:01:15 GMT -5
I'm sorry GoDog, I admire your strength. I think I'd have to be damn near dead to go there. I couldn't do it. Good luck to you, be careful and pick up a Knight Suit of Armour would ya? Don't take it personal, they just don't know. Toughen up, leave your feelings at home so they don't trample on them any more than before. I'll be thinkin' of you...Tuesday...bump it up.
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Post by godog on Jun 8, 2007 23:22:18 GMT -5
Thanks you all for the thumbs up. I'm dreading it and looking forward to it both. Hoping for some help, I know they're not gonna cure me, but I'm getting too sick to work cause this sinus ain't going away by itself this time. Just getting rundown. I need to just rest, but I have to work. So, I have to do this. Plus, this is our health department and by Gosh, they need to be forced to deal with this. My intention is to do the flour water thing. When I do this, I can get out handfuls of wormthings, eggthings, stringy, blobbyity blob things. It is very shocking. I mean, I can do this all day long. I have pasted 3 times today and just getting more and more pouring out. And alot of back trouble, this is centered around my rectum and tailbone going up my back, I think it coming out is cause the back ache somehow. I want them to see. I hope they don't drag me off in a straightjacket before I'm done. If they take the time to see what I see, and this stuff is large, marble size, some. Alot of it is maggot sized. If I got disability, that would be so nice to just stay home and be sick as compared to working sick all the time. I cannot work and be sick like this. I have thoughts of how long I can continue life like this. And I'm happy. It's not depression talking. It's reality of my situation talking. Oh well, I guess I'll just keep putting one foot in front of the other like always, what else can ya do?
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Post by bugsy on Jun 8, 2007 23:50:25 GMT -5
Best of luck to you godog!!! Maybe you will get lucky and have a compassionate doc with a good bedside manner. That is what I wish for you.
~Bugsy
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Post by friskers on Jun 9, 2007 0:31:16 GMT -5
Its funny.....one doctor I complained to of anal itching wouldnt even look and told me I probably had hemerroids and get some annusol! i knew that wasnt it so I returned still complaining and he still wouldnt look and told me I must have pinworms and wrote a script. No tests either! I still returned again and said it didnt help and he still wouldnt look! Told me I must be having a reaction to my toilet paper! Finally went to my GYN and she looked right away and gave me an anti fungal cream. What kind of doctor wont even take a look at your butt hole when your having trouble ;D
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Post by Carrie♥ on Jun 9, 2007 2:54:01 GMT -5
I'm not a Dr. Friksi but I'd look. Butt hole galore... ;D
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Post by janedough on Jun 9, 2007 7:50:47 GMT -5
Dear Godog,
I hope that you will get a kind doctor who will actually listen. From what I read it sounds like you are going to bring in flour to the dept. of health and tell them to watch as you rub flour on your butt. Get a feel for the doctor first before you get into the morg conversation. I know that when we are at our worst, we attempt to give doctors another chance, but we usually get kicked to the curb. PLEASE for your own benefit, be very careful.
I really hope that these doctors will wake up soon. I am sorry for my lack of trust in doctors. I just don't want you to get those hopes up to be crushed. Doctors put us in this precarious position and it is the most frustrating part of morgellons.
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Post by toni on Jun 9, 2007 8:18:03 GMT -5
Godog,
I laughed at the way you wrote your post, but believe me when I say I know the situation is not funny, "you're just funny" and are such a good person inside, and that shines through so much.
And what Janedough said is so right, 'get a feel for the doc' because they can be brutal, and we all care so much for you and that jerk better treat you right, then I'll take back the jerk part.
But we are all with you in thought, and THANK YOU for being so brave, and I'm so sorry this has gotten you worn down as it has, I know you didn't want to go to the docs, so it must be getting much worse for you to even go, so I PRAY the doctor is compassionate with you and is willing and wanting to help you.
And you take care, and we're all here and backing you 100%!
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Post by beckybailey on Jun 9, 2007 8:27:06 GMT -5
godog, please go in there and tell them you are giving them an opportunity to help many people by really taking the time to examine you.
Tell them you can put them in email contact with many other people suffering the same symptoms. We are all here for you, to back you up. And each of us can find others easily. We can even email you with our info to show them, so they can't deny you a thorough examination.
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Post by godog on Jun 9, 2007 8:32:44 GMT -5
Oh tahnkyou ladies. Yeah Toni, gotta laugh, right? Keeps me from doing damage. Jane, yes, I have been thinking, I'm seeing a new doc. The one I saw a couple of years ago when I was there last, is gone. So I think I will just take a few samples, some flour, small bit in a container and then if he seems very openminded and curious, proceed as planned. And if it doesn't seem right, then not mention flour. Also, to a non-morgie, rubbing flour and water paste sounds crazy, but, if I make it sound like a beauty treatment, that might sound better. You know, like a oatmeal mask sort of deal. Yes, I don't want to get diagnosed kookoo right out the gate. So Jane, I understand very well your caution. Believe me, I am very anxious to get this right. Frisky, what kind of man wouldn't want to look at your bum? That is so gay, haha. Joke. One of my worst symptoms has been anal itching, since 95. So I am getting literally gallons of this stuff out of buttcrack and rectum skin. Is is parasites? What is this sh*t? Frisky, do me a favor and just do a little paste on your butthole, just let's see what happens. Do you all have this crap like me? Even a little bit of paste will bring it out. One thing that's really weird is that sometimes I don't have the shower on during pasting, to save water. But when I turn the shower on, even if I'm not standing in the spray, this stuff just pours out even more, the water stimulates it to come out, even if I'm not in the spray, it knows, or is attracted to the water. It comes out more when the water is on, even if I'm not under the spray. It seems to know when water is nearby. Crazy. Now that is something I cannot tell any doctor. Frisky, and I guess you still had to pay that useless doctor. Gosh, they get my goat!!!!!!!
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Post by toni on Jun 9, 2007 8:48:15 GMT -5
Godog,
YES, you are so right about how "it" loves water!
When I sit in the tub with only a few inches of water with vinegar and baking soda....my hair on my head goes WILD! I mean it comes alive and moves and is actually scarey how much it gets going on it's own...like it sniffs the water, and wants a drink!!! I'm dead on serious!
And my face, dabbing and dabbing with milk and antimicrobial gel, I'll do that for 5 min straight, then take a needle and lift out all the stringy stuff...then do it over and over, and more and more keeps coming out, then I'll EVEN say...okay you bastards, here's a drink...come and get it you little sob's...then I'll dab my face with water on my fingers...and oh MY GOD...MORE stuff comes out!!!! Like it's was dying a thirst.
Then I REALLY take a handful of antimicrobial gel...and glob that immediately on my face, and say there you go, choke on that sh*t, and I believe that kills them or it....because we can't reach it with products while it's "hiding" deep in our skin, but once it's come out...for a drink or whatever it's doing to eat the milk and as you do, the paste, then KILL it good with that waterless hand sanitizer antimicrobial gel....they don't like it.
I'm beginning to think we "induce" it with different food products to come out of our skin...I think that is what we're seeing...then you need to blast it with something to insure it's DEAD....cause many of the tiny gel globs will go right back into the skin and continue to stay alive.
So your pasting is great, cause they're being 'induced' to come out, but maybe try murdering them when they do come out with the antimicrobial gel too...might help...I hope it does.
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Post by godog on Jun 9, 2007 9:05:04 GMT -5
About a year ago, I posted about my friend the horse trainer and his homemade concoction to kill bott flies, which are flies that lay eggs on the hairs, then the larvae hatch and drill into the flesh of the horse. Anyway, he said that you have to poisen them enough to make them all come out fight the "enemy". First application, then wait till they gather their army, then slam them again. There's a gameplan to it. I keep thinking, if we get the gameplan right, then we might get somewhere with killing them. And just the mental pressure of being full of parasital wormthings. I mean, I have always took a certain amount of pride in my appearance as probably most of you all do too. Kept my nails done, good haircut to enhance my curls, makeup and so on. And then too get this, worms out my a** is really a drag. I don't feel very feminin anymore. I feel happy about hanging on to what shred of health I have, but I sure have suffered in the "ME" department. Even though, since I don't have a boyfriend, it still bothers me that my sex drive has dwindled. Isn't that a lyme symptom? I'm so fatigued all the time. But I think I read where it lowers our hormones or something.
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Post by toni on Jun 9, 2007 9:32:48 GMT -5
Godog,
Yes, that's what I mean, bait the bastards to come out of our skin, then kill them...yep, the game plan, it works well, helps alot.
And I do remember you saying that about the bot flies.
And I know we can all relate to everything you're saying. You have this on your rear end, and everything you've got going there, my butt is fine, but my face is LOADED with this garbage.
I don't know which is worse. (I have to hide) like some freak, which that is more isolation than I could even express in words, like some little mongroloide or troll...and that too kills me, I feel like I'm some freak of nature now, where I was proud, so yes, it's all devastating, and that's an understatement.
So as for feeling femine or even looking human, well...that's even out of the question for me right now, and there are no words to say how disturbing that is, and knowing this garbage is eating our 'meat' our tissue...that could push someone over the edge, but what WE do is KNOW in our presistent is paying off, and we're finding ways to get this garbage out of us, and we'll just keep getting better at what we're doing, and keep finding even better ways to do it.
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Post by belikewater on Jun 9, 2007 14:52:39 GMT -5
"Roll her in flour and go for the wet spot"... Yeah, not funny but you are a bright spirit, godog. Good luck. Thank you for the details you share, I pray you get a real doctor to help you. With a real doctor you wouldn't have to explain.
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Post by hannah on Jun 9, 2007 19:23:44 GMT -5
Godog, I hope you get on okay with the doctor. It seems you need the antibiotics to clear up your chest infection and i know you are worried about herxing. There are lots of things you can do including detoxing by using parsley and burbur. This is a good site with some tips for dealing with herxing: tinyurl.com/2owlx3Good luck and hope you get a sympathetic and helpful doctor.
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Post by See Jane Crawl on Jun 9, 2007 19:47:52 GMT -5
Godog,
I wish you luck with the new doctor. But if you want some advice, don't take any samples with you & leave your flour at home! That is the road to a DOP diagnosis! Until this becomes more out in the open and more doctors learn how to read again, the saner you look the less likely they will blow you off as one of "them", you know the DOP gang........
You said your back & lungs hurt & you have a sinus infection, I would tell them all of those ailments, maybe they will do some further testing or x-rays; maybe they will give you something to ease the pain or maybe you have pneumonia & don't know it.
I have found that the only knowledge of Morgellon's that most of the doctors in the US has is that it is DOP and with the way medicine is today you only get 15 minutes to tell your ailments & if it takes longer than that you are cutting into their profit margin for the day & they don't take kindly to that!
It is up to you, if you have the strength to explain this to a new doctor I will be praying for you & sending good thoughts your way.....
Good Luck & I hope you feel better soon.
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Post by betsy on Jun 10, 2007 1:53:02 GMT -5
Try to get a feel for the doctor first. Try the serious complaints for more normal things they can handle (first)--lungs, etc.
You might want to avoid the word Morgellons since doctors tend to stick together. If a hospital data base says Morgellons is DOP--using the word could cause you extra trouble.
Of course, we all know the hospital data is incorrect and probably linked to the genetic engineering cover-up.
If you itch--tell the doctor. If you think your symptoms could all be related to some previous fever, etc- suggest that. If you feel it is systemic, that's okay, too.
Mention your anal itching if you want to convey an important bothering symptom, but be careful about expecting the doctor to examine your anal area unless he/she shows willingness and unless you really have some visible symptoms. Medicine is specialized and bottoms belong to the gynocologist for females and I don't know the counterpart for males.
Doctors don't usually appreciate lab experiments in their office. They are too far removed from real medicine to care. Best to hold off on the flour. You may tacftfully mention if you've practiced how it would sound to a doctor.
I did mention Morgellons in earlier visits 2 years ago. That was before the prejudicial smear masking itself as medical data. If I were going to do it in this climate, I'd let them know up front that I was well aware of the DOP data linked to Morgellons. I won't tell the rest, but I would absolutely not let them intimidate me.
I don't think you are physically or emotionally strong enough at this point to carry all your symptoms and stand up to the pressure of diagnosing yourself with Morgellons to the doctor and being labeled DOP.
So, I'd suggest you avoid the use of Morgellons but describe the normal complaints first, the more unusual complaints second and keep the flour demonstration out of the picture unless you have a very unusual doctor.
Know ahead of time if you are willing to take certain meds. You can't know what they will suggest, but give it some practice thought ahead of time.
Remember, if you get quite emotional, doctors like to make the emotionalism go away with meds. I don't know what kind of doctor to expect from a Health Department. It seems they should be geared to public outbreaks and contageon.
If you decide to ignore these suggestions that's just fine, too. I think it depends on each person's personality. Do remember, we always go to the doctor thinking/hoping they can solve the problem. Keep in mind, no one recognizes Morgellons or knows how to cure it. The best you can hope for is help with the symptoms that doctors know how to treat.
Hope this helped.
Have you had a Lyme test from Igenex Lab? Your lower back problems may be related to Lyme.
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Post by friskers on Jun 10, 2007 2:04:09 GMT -5
I'm not a Dr. Friksi but I'd look. Butt hole galore... ;D Your a true friend Carrie! ;D Id look at yours too if you needed me to Godog i dont have any flour on hand.........what kind do you use? Just plain ole white flour? You need to give me exact directions.......because theres no way Im going to end up with a glued up butthole cause i left it on too long or did something wrong ! ;D The things we talk about here!
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