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Post by friskers on May 22, 2008 12:19:03 GMT -5
Hi Everyone I dont know if this has anything to do with morgellons or not but if anyone can help me out I sure would appreciate it! This started for me probably 20 years ago long before morgellons but seemed to start after i had surgery and thats when the beggining of my health troubles all started. anyway what happens is I get a thought or something that bothers me and my mind will repeat that thought over and over again even when the emotion is over and done with ........day after day month after month sometimes going on for a year! Things that should be in the past arent let go for a very very long time. Sometimes its not a thought but a song maybe that wont stop going on in my head that I heard on the radio.....its not always negative. You may think "we all have that" but i know its not normal . Sometimes the thoughts start to spin very fast and thats when I feel alittle nuts. There are things that reduce it like deep meditation yoga and BOB LOL but when Im working i cant do these things. Anyone know what causes this? I hope its not some kind of mental disorder ;D
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Post by skytroll on May 22, 2008 12:23:31 GMT -5
I sometimes am reminded of things from the past, that I had dealt with. And maybe these are things continually haunting us for some reason. You see a picture of who you were, mixed in with who you are today. It is like there are two realities.
Sound about right?
Skytroll
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Post by toni on May 22, 2008 12:37:07 GMT -5
Friskers,
Someone I know has told me the same (if I'm hearing you correctly) that they have thoughts speeding through their head so much and soooo many thoughts that they cannot even sleep nights.
She said it's like the brain just won't "shut off".
The only thing I could think of to help, was trying to re-focus the mind.
I learned that years ago, because we can control our thoughts, of ourselves, our past, present and the now, of everything.
And it takes a bit of prep too to do that.
You must surround your "everything" with that of which calms you.
For instance....my "calming thing" is thinking of the ocean.
So when I really want to go there, I mentally picture the ocean waves and turn on the sounds on the ocean CD.
I know that sounds simple...but "as I told this person"...if the ocean was "my calming thing"....then you might really need to do all you can to make it real. Like (those cd's with the sounds) and aroma therapies that have familar smells too that would cause you to not only think and hear the ocean, but sort of smell the mist too.
I know when I'm stressed out...which "could be every minute"....what I do is I deliberately wear lotions with vanilla (which is very relaxing) and it causes me to focus on the pleasant smell and sugar cookies, is what it reminds me of. So then "mental stress" fades, cause I focus on that too.
Try and give all your senses (sight, sound, smell, and feel) all the things that feel good to you.
Then your mind will sort of be distracted on those things, which is very helpful to 're-direct' our thinking.
It takes practice, and some effort, but it sure is a way to trick our thinking into "going there" instead of where we don't want it to be.
Sort of like your meditation, but give it more "life" by duplicating smells for instance, cause that really helps alot (the aroma therapy).
What's funny, is when I'm cleaning in the kitchen (which isn't fun) after a big mess from cooking, I take out the bottle of vanilla and I dab some right under my nose...so I can keep smelling it. And then the pleasant-ness of that smell sort of carries me away.
It's really just like your meditation, except bringing and creating it to where you can almost taste it.
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Post by friskers on May 22, 2008 12:41:44 GMT -5
Thanks Sky, yes I have that also but that sounds pretty normal. the only way I know how to describe it is say when you hear a song with a catchy tune and you cant get it out of your head and it continues to drive you nuts even when you try to stop it it just gets worse. This is what its like for me every day
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Post by friskers on May 22, 2008 12:50:17 GMT -5
Friskers, Someone I know has told me the same (if I'm hearing you correctly) that they have thoughts speeding through their head so much and soooo many thoughts that they cannot even sleep nights. She said it's like the brain just won't "shut off". The only thing I could think of to help, was trying to re-focus the mind. I learned that years ago, because we can control our thoughts, of ourselves, our past, present and the now, of everything. And it takes a bit of prep too to do that. You must surround your "everything" with that of which calms you. For instance....my "calming thing" is thinking of the ocean. So when I really want to go there, I mentally picture the ocean waves and turn on the sounds on the ocean CD. I know that sounds simple...but "as I told this person"...if the ocean was "my calming thing"....then you might really need to do all you can to make it real. Like (those cd's with the sounds) and aroma therapies that have familar smells too that would cause you to not only think and hear the ocean, but sort of smell the mist too. I know when I'm stressed out...which "could be every minute"....what I do is I deliberately wear lotions with vanilla (which is very relaxing) and it causes me to focus on the pleasant smell and sugar cookies, is what it reminds me of. So then "mental stress" fades, cause I focus on that too. Try and give all your senses (sight, sound, smell, and feel) all the things that feel good to you. Then your mind will sort of be distracted on those things, which is very helpful to 're-direct' our thinking. It takes practice, and some effort, but it sure is a way to trick our thinking into "going there" instead of where we don't want it to be. Sort of like your meditation, but give it more "life" by duplicating smells for instance, cause that really helps alot (the aroma therapy). What's funny, is when I'm cleaning in the kitchen (which isn't fun) after a big mess from cooking, I take out the bottle of vanilla and I dab some right under my nose...so I can keep smelling it. And then the pleasant-ness of that smell sort of carries me away. It's really just like your meditation, except bringing and creating it to where you can almost taste it. Yes Toni thats exactly it! Thats why i have to take medication to sleep. It gets much worse at night when im trying to sleep. The thoughts speed up so much that it feels like some kind of mental torture. But my meds take care of that for me and I sleep like a baby. Thanks for the suggestions. I will try it The ocean will be a good one for me to try, that always makes me feel calm.
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Post by toni on May 22, 2008 13:55:13 GMT -5
Oh yes, I know just what you mean then. It's my sister who's told me that and we've taked so much about it. She first thought it was because of non closure to 'events' in her life. But, we all have that, and I don't think that's it either. Not to where she's told me how the mind/brain just won't stop or shut down. I know it has to be awful, from all she's told me. She said she was so sleep deprived she was delirious. She'd tried everything, counting sheep backwards, oh...you name it. Engulf yourself with your favorite delightful smell, and pick one thing/ one smell, so you can actually "train your mind" to concentrate on only one thing. Like Vanilla, or Tangerine (whatever flavor/smell you like most) Then find that lotion! hahaha ...and as your smelling it - picture fresh cold uicy dripping tangerines...or whatever, hahaha I'm trying to really give you a visual...and then totally focus on that mental image you can draw in your mind from the juicy cold tangerines or oranges. (for instance) And when anything else comes to mind consciously "push" it out by the picture and (real) smell of your fresh oranges or tangerines that you're actually smelling, because of the lotion or oil. Now I'm not gonna be right till I eat a cold juicy tangerine or at least an orange. hahah ;D Talked myself right into wanting that one.
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Post by Administration on May 22, 2008 14:18:34 GMT -5
I think a lot of times this involves the OCD that many of us have been diagnosed with and I hear all of you, it's a real problem to deal with. Sometimes this appears during the day in a milder way but the later it gets, seems the worse it gets. For some reason soft music doesn't do it for me so I leave the TV on but don't watch it. I just lay there with my eyes closed and concentrate on the words being said, then most times I eventually drift off to sleep. Works best if you can use a sleep timer so the TV won't awaken you later on. I know someone whose days and nights are totally turned around now because of this.
Does anyone ever think thoughts they would never normally think, things that don't even fit into your life or matter to you?
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Post by beckybailey on May 22, 2008 15:11:55 GMT -5
I have experienced this too, sometimes it is just one word or a name I heard on the radio, repeating over and over especially first thing in the morning. I sure don't know what to do about it.
When my shrink asked if I hear voices, I explained this to him. Then I said "doesn't everyone?". I do believe it is normal.
However, I can tell you what can help you to get over the past: honeysuckle. It is one of "Bach's Flower Remedies" for the 48 states of the mind. I took it many years ago and immediately felt a huge weight lift off my shoulders.
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Post by abbienormal on May 22, 2008 15:14:19 GMT -5
YES, YES, YES to all of the above.
I have thoughts day or night, but especially at night that play over and over again, whether they are relevant or not, especially if I have been stimulated in some way (no, not that). During the day, I will yell out something like "What?" just to break up the thoughts. Or I will say something rhetorical like "Who is coming over". I know nobody because we are reclusive. But I need to break the brain pattern by speaking out loud. Sounds insane but this disease is insane.
Also, because I am so reclusive now because of the contagious thing, if I just speak to someone other than my husband during the course of the day, my mind goes on fast forward and it cannot be stopped and picks up all different kinds of loops of thoughts and it rolls and rolls and rolls........
Sometimes I even feel stoned from this brain overdrive and there is no way I can do anything that takes "thinking power" and driving the car (which I do very little of now anyway) would be dangerous. It takes me forever to go to sleep and if anything electrical is in the room, I will never go to sleep.
I also have thoughts that are really very dark but I have trained myself (most of the time) to shut them off and replace them with something different.
ALSO, I am beginning to have a difficult time telling whether I dreamt something or it has actually happened or sometimes I get the feeling that I am living in a quasi-parallel universe. Quasi because say I am standing at the kitchen window and I see a robin on the fence with straw in its mouth, I feel that that moment (not deja vu) had already happened maybe in a dream or has happened a few moments earlier in the parallel universe. Please, someone tell me this is happening to you. The Mister says he has the dream phenomenon happening to him too.
We also know when we are going to see someone. I have also said "don't park the car here" but I wasn't listened to and when we returned the car was hit. Things like that are happening just a little to often. We also can read each others minds. I often know exactly what the Mister is going to say before he says it to me.
This must all be electrical phenomena.
Abbie
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Post by belikewater on May 22, 2008 15:34:07 GMT -5
Compulsive, obsessive thoughts are a Lyme symptom.
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Post by friskers on May 22, 2008 17:23:17 GMT -5
Thankyou everyone!! I find all your posts helpful and interesting Id forgotten white chestnut used to help alot but I found it expensive to keep taking, it helped when the thoughts got to a racing point but didnt get rid of it. www.bachcentre.com/centre/remedies.htmand thanks for the honeysuckle recomendation, I hadnt heard of that. So I guess this could be a morg /lymme related problem
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Post by toni on May 22, 2008 17:45:05 GMT -5
Oh....I just thought of something, it doesn't happen often, but when it does it's really wild.
The first time this ever happened about 15 years ago (hearing MUSIC of all things) actually the most beautiful angelic music I've ever heard...I was living in southern CA and came here to Vegas for a few days to party it up.
Well...no sleep and all drink and gambling etc...and when I got back home after all that "partying", my ceiling fan (was making a high pitch sound) and then from the (no sleep for days) and feeling delirious actually, from the no sleep and much partying....I heard this most angelic music from that "high pitch sound from the ceiling fan was making".
I just thought then...man, I'm too tired for my own good right now.
Well now...
Guess what? When the ceiling fan in the kitchen "hits" a particular tone sometimes when it's been running non stop....I hear that same exact angelic music again. Same as I'd heard 15 years ago when I was exhausted from heavy duty partying.
I know it's only a particular sound the fan has to make, and then I hear the music.
Just thought of something else. When I unplug the fan, the sound of course stops and so does the music sound.
But...it's weird to hear that music that is so alluring and fascinating when certain "tones" from the fan are made.
Now how werid is that?
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Post by silverangel on May 22, 2008 21:11:02 GMT -5
this is interesting, i thought i was just crazy! (well that's all relative, LOL!) i have had this same thing going on too, the repetitive/obsessive thoughts that are sometimes so bad i can't shut them off or go to sleep. when i did sleep, i would have such strange and upsetting dreams that i would wake up crying, or sometimes sweating and gasping for breath. when my brain fog was at its worst, i was driving home from my b/f's house (he lives an hour away from me) and i forgot where i was.......just plain forgot, where i was going, where i had been, didn't recognize the road i was on or any of the landmarks. i called him and was in a panic. he calmed me down enough and came to find me and drove me home. the best thing i've found for this is also one of the bach flower essences, called rescue remedy. it also helps me sleep. i have also had the ceiling fan thing happen to me, but instead of angelic music, this sounded like a loud clanging noise, like alarm bells, so bad that i had to get up and shut it off! a few minutes later, i turned it back on and it wasn't doing it any more. it happened again after that, same sound. when i turned over onto my other side, it stopped. some noises drive me absolutely mad! like a static-y radio, and certain electronic sounds. hip hop music too. dunno why, if it's the electronic noises that it makes? i also have the "mind -reading" thing going on too.......i wouldn't call it exactly mind-reading tho, premonition? or precognition? like i'll know when my cell phone is gonna ring, right before it rings......or i'll say something and my b/f will go, "i was just gonna say that", or "i was just thinking that", or i'll call my mom and she'll say "i was just gonna call u". weird huh? that we all have similar things going on? hugs, silverangel
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Post by gradysghostii on May 22, 2008 21:14:36 GMT -5
Friski, I know what you mean but do not have them, I have had hours like that when I had high fevers as a child. Could it be coming from imbalances in the brain due to Morgellons, certainly our bodies are an ebb and tide of toxic stew, ever changing, wreaking havoc upon us. I believe oxygen can be key to ridding ourselves of these toxins.
- Grady
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Post by angela on May 22, 2008 21:38:18 GMT -5
friski, friski, friski, friski, friski ;D sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, nahhhhhhh......just kidding sweety! Admin hit the nail on the head. OCD. Something is triggering the synapses to continually reconnect. I think this has alot to do with the behavior involved in ADHD and Autism. I'm not saying you have either of these two....but fairly certain this is related...and all (and then some) caused originally by Morgellons Disease. I sure hope its not too bothersome for you.... cuz your just too awesome a girl for this to be happening to! love ya! anj
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Post by angela on May 22, 2008 21:46:24 GMT -5
Just remembered this...... I wondered about a month ago if this (Morgellons) could be the reason for much of the psychotic behavior...such as:
pedophiles rapists serial killers family members (mothers) who kill their children
I think these spores are clumping up around a yuk (id) spot in the brain...where the animal instinct (no conscience) is triggered. Just a thought!
Yes I know ther are other factors.....but......
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Post by friskers on May 22, 2008 22:05:03 GMT -5
friski, friski, friski, friski, friski ;D sex, sex, sex, sex, sex, nahhhhhhh......just kidding sweety! Admin hit the nail on the head. OCD. Something is triggering the synapses to continually reconnect. I think this has alot to do with the behavior involved in ADHD and Autism. I'm not saying you have either of these two....but fairly certain this is related...and all (and then some) caused originally by Morgellons Disease. I sure hope its not too bothersome for you.... cuz your just too awesome a girl for this to be happening to! love ya! anj Angie ;)I was hoping its not OCD but maybe it is . i need to look into that. I wasnt going to mention it but sometimes, often times the thoughts are of sexual nature ;D they are the worst to try to turn off. So you see its really not all my fault the way I am LOL ;D And Toni Iwant to hear angel music too but dont want to have to party for days to hear it ;D
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Post by liatris on May 22, 2008 22:58:13 GMT -5
Friski, JJ, and all -
Friski - the way you describe it does sound OCDish. The thoughts have been described as being a "virtual tape" - just being played and played. Probably a brain chemistry glitch - but read on as some have gotten help from the following ....
JJ - I thought you might find this interesting (because, I think you eat aspartame ?) - EXCITOTOXINS are linked to OCD. These are chemicals in the brain - usually amino acids, that actually excite and can damage brain cells. They can be generated by eating gluten and casein in those that are intolerant of those two and many people have gotten relief from refraining from eating foods containing them. [glow=red,2,300]AND, of course, ASPARTAME (Nutrasweet) is an excitotoxin. [/glow]
Two of them are - Glutamate (glutamic acid) found in MSG/"hydrolyzed vegetable protein" and aspartate (aspartic acid) found in NutraSweet.
I think that there is a connection between free radical activity and the generation of excitotoxins in the brain. These excitotoxins over stimulate brain cells and can cause racing thoughts and insomnia.
Check into it - could be really helpful.
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Post by godsgrace on May 22, 2008 23:08:54 GMT -5
angela, mycoplasma is resposible for the pedophiles rapists serial killers mothers who kill their children and so many others I can't list..I'd be here all night I think Morgellons may feed off of mycoplasma? We can "profile" serial killers down to male caucasian 25-45 yo most live at home with their mothers we have the ability to profile them because mycoplasma takes up in your body and affects different areas of your body depending on your "genetic pre-disposition"These serial killers were genetically predisposed for that area of the brain to "malfunction" We treat pedophiles like demons we send rapists to prision to be killed and die we talk about mothers who kill their children as if they are the devil himself but not one of us stops to think how desperately ill these people are. The government created mycoplasma everyone has it to a different degree Some people are very very very ill with it. Others not so bad.... yet. Normal people do not kill others, their own children, rape and tourture, molest childern ect.... sick people do. Mycoplasma causes every "new" mental disorder known The Psychology realm is a joke...people are really sick/depressed/anxious....and they put them all on meds which causes some to commit suicide? ?? WTF? There are so many things going wrong with people, everyday they are naming new dis-eases. Used to be a girl only had some PMS... now it's PMDD Pre-menstrual DYSPHORIC disorder....PMS on steroids.... what about "restless leg syndrome"? I always wonder if that one is from the morg's... you nailed it ang....it is all connected. As far as the constant thoughts....I have "flashes" throughout the day of different things....most having to do with... you guessed it...mycoplasma. There is also a symptom of Chronic Fatigue Syndrome(Lyme's cousin) of AGITATED EXHAUSTION. You are soooooo tired but the mind won't stop. been there, done that, no fun. great thread!! godsgrace
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Post by bannanny on May 22, 2008 23:43:19 GMT -5
The word that plays over and over in my mind is who? WHO? Then it's followed by why? WHY? Guess what the third word is? Yep, you're right!
All kidding aside here friskers, I do know what ya mean but it hasn't happened with me in quite awhile now....... ever since I started the "rise above it" thing Dr. H talks about. I've been applying that to everything that gets to me, not just the morgie deal. But maybe it would be good to check into the OCD thing just to be sure, ya know? I like what toni said too, think I'll get me some ocean sounds.
I can relate to the premonition stuff tho. That happens to me all the time too. I dunno, for some reason I think we all seem to have some sort of sixth sense if you will. Maybe it's the reason we have morgellons.
You can think of me friskers, maybe that'll thwart that other stuff outta your mind. Nah, on second thought....... it could make things worse ha! I hope you find the answers you want tho friskers, cuz I love ya lots!
big hugs ~~ bannannas
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