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Post by angela on Apr 5, 2008 17:07:14 GMT -5
A patient shows up in a psychiatrist's office nude and ask "Doc do I look crazy to you"
Doc replies " I can see 'your' nuts.
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A cop stopped a guy speeding on a freeway in carpool lane.
He asked him, "Why are you on this lane, when you are driving alone?"
The guy says, "I have multiple personality disorder!!!"
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How can you differentiate the patient from the psychiatrist on a Psych ward?............The patient gets better.
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There was this man in a mental hospital. All day he would put his ear to the wall and listen. The doctor would watch this guy do this day after day. So the doctor finally decided to see what the guy was listening to, so he put his ear up to the wall and listened. He heard nothing. So he turned to the mental patient and said, "I don't hear anything."
The mental patient said, "Yeah, I know. It's been like that for months!"
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Post by godog on Apr 5, 2008 17:36:11 GMT -5
Hahhaa---cute!
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Post by toni on Apr 5, 2008 17:56:37 GMT -5
hahaha ;D
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Post by angela on Apr 5, 2008 18:40:06 GMT -5
An old G.P. and his nurse were on the train, going to a Medical Conference. Opposite them was a man furiously scratching his elbow.
"I wonder what's the matter with him?" asked the nurse.
"He's a patient of mine and, in confidence, I can tell you that he suffers badly from hemorroids," replied the G.P.
"Well, why he's scratching his elbow?" asked the puzzled nurse.
"Oh, he's a politician, and he doesn't know his a$$ from his elbow."
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Hello. Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline
If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.
If you are co-dependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, 5, and 6.
If you are paranoid-delusional, we know who you are and what you want. Just stay on the line so we can trace the call.
If you are schizophrenic, listen carefully and a little voice will tell you which number to press.
If you are manic-depressive, it doesn't matter which number you press. No one will answer.
If you are anxious, just start pressing numbers at random.
If you are phobic, don't press anything.
If you are anal retentive, please hold.
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Post by angela on Apr 5, 2008 19:11:00 GMT -5
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Post by friskers on Apr 5, 2008 21:59:16 GMT -5
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Post by angela on Apr 11, 2008 16:04:21 GMT -5
;D hey friski.....good to be back! love ya, anj
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