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Post by freaky on Jul 25, 2007 3:17:08 GMT -5
tHIS IS WAY TOO LONG. i CAN TRY TO DELETE HALF OF IT TOMORROW. jUST WRITE DELETE, & i WILL. mUCH BETTER TO WRITE IN DAY TIME ANYWAY. This is embarrassing for me to ask something so personal, but then, I've never been one to hold back much. I would please like your help, and any comments, if you could possibly help me to resolve this ongoing problem I am having. For 4 years, my man (hub, Husband, Jerk) whom I love and adore brodcasted to all he knew, & didn't know, his wife was delusional. This was not surprising, as he has always run to my parents for any problem he thought he had with me. If he had a problem, & it just didn't sound horrible enough, he'd just throw in a few things to make it a better story. He's a self made man, so to speak. He worked his way through college, and became the #1 salesman wherever he worked. I've pretty much had everything I've ever wanted materialistically, although not personally. I'd say my man grew up on the wrong side of the tracks in Chicago. Never have seen those tracks, but his home life was opposite from my ozzie, & harriot, or Bever Cleaver home life. He grew up with 2 wild brothers, & his parents were alcoholics, as Bill, my man also became. He won't admit it to save his life because he didn't get caught. I did. He told my parents most everything I ever did while drinking during menopause, and because they couldn't relate, I had to go to 3 dry up centers before I realized he'd never quit, If I didn't 1st, then force him to. I had to stay sober to keep an eye on him. It was pretty sad though. He's the type of guy who doesn't like to drink alone, which caused much of my setbacks. Bill's mom stood on a stool, & when her husband came home (I guess she thought he was running around, but he always worked 2 jobs) she hit him on the head with a frying pan, & constantly called the police on him. Poor Soul. I, on the other hand heard my parents argue fiercely, once. Told you I couldn't write, but I'm going somewhere with this. I'm setting the stage. OK, in short, it wasn't till I showed my dr. my pictures that she diagnosed me with morgellons. Doing one of the multiple stool samples, I went outside in the sunshine to get the best lighting. When I was done, I carelessly threw the remains in the yard thinking, theres a lot of dog poop out here. What's the diff? The diff was that my dogs ate it, although I was not aware of it at the time, & got morgellons. Then my dogs got in my trash, & ate the Kleenex I coughed up my morgs in. Ewe, sorry. When I got diagnosed 4 yeaaars later, sweet Bill, changed his tune. He agreed I had it. Bah hum bug. I could have convinced him, but he wouldn't look at any more samples after looking about 3 times. He said he looked, & looked, & looked. Guess he was right about that. 3 X's. He continually knocked Lyme busters, & said all I gave him to read was garbage. Typical non-believer. I have a feeling I did another reject post. I can take it. Tell me what I did wrong. My dogs have been on medication, antibiotics, etc. for 3 years now. They have everything, lesions, fibers, vomit, don't eat, are loosing their hair; they have morgellons without a doubt. Now my husband is on year 5. He won't look at the samples, or the lesions, & we fight about this all the time. Besides this one thing, I adore this man, & love him to death, if he's not having a temper tantrum. (He's a diabetic because he believed he could eat as many sweets as he could consume.) It's obvious I'm hurt, feel slightly abused, it's hard to think of him as my best friend, but no matter what I say, he's humiliating regarding this subject, & it 's like talking to a brick wall. He can't see the lesions for the fur. Duh. I ask for help on how to possibly change him to my way of thinking, which in this case is correct, because the depression has set in. It's bad. My daughter is having her bachelorette? (wrong word?) party this Friday. I don't want to go. I have a sorry bass attitude, & I can't kick it. Can I change this man, or do I have to change? (like over my dead body) Awe, just joking. So sorry this was so long. Just for reading, & a sincere reply, you can use this thread, for any-thing you want to yap about. I never get depressed. Even my 87 yr. old Dad noticed I was a sour puss. I can't get over it. I can't express how hideous this is the way he's treating me is. I may be depressed forever. Actually peeED OFF. Come on guys, talk to me. Slurppy wet kisses for all of you freaky
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Post by liz on Jul 25, 2007 4:41:27 GMT -5
Oh dear..where do I begen....Tom has this now but still can't look at samples.....I think it just freaks him out...still does...if one is moving on me in the car he will just roll the window down and say "get it out of here" "I have forced him to look....so he knows they exist ...he won't talk morgs with his family..only Lyme...I had to break it and send them all the info and they still don't like to talk about it...I think we on this website are the brave ones!!!...I think this is very hard to handle for some people..hard to accept but one thing freaky...Tom has never called me crazy...he always takes my side...how much are you willing to put into this...you can't let yourself get emotionaly abused...that is sometimes worse than getting physicaly abused...maybe counseling...maybe give it time...I have heard this story over and over again from many people...Toni or Carrie might give you great advice...also Sid....All I can say is my heart is with you...I have heard you are a great gal and I hope things work out for you..I am so sorry you are going through this...it is bad enough but when your own partner won't believe you it hurts bad I am sure...if he is really is your best friend and loves you he should stand by you...not kick you while you are down! Hang in there baby! I will be rooting for you!
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Post by Carrie♥ on Jul 25, 2007 10:35:55 GMT -5
Freaky...I'm sorry. You're such a sweet, silly girl.
Please...email me your address once again...please. Today!!! I need to get you something in the mail and will explain in an email after work.
I love you and am sorry about your babies.
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Post by accudoc on Jul 25, 2007 11:54:11 GMT -5
Hi, It is hard for your husband because it threatens his reality. I would not spend time trying to prove anything as that will make it worse. I think his rage states are probably caused by food allergies and unbalanced sugar issues. Also you being sick maybe is threatening as you may have been a strong support base for him and that is not happening as it was. I understand as I have been through this being in your husbands role. Lyme rage, diabetic, allergies, threatened etc. I would sit down with him and have a serious conversation acknowledging the stress this whole thing has caused and try to come to some idea on how you guys move ahead. You dont need him to accept your illness but you do need him to acknowledge that you are suffering and he is suffering because of this regardless of the reason. Rage is a common male defense move when one feels threatened. Try to find some common ground. Also if anger starts in the conversation sets some ground rules up. No shouting or rage in the conversation if it starts happening agree to back off and walk away. Prolonged illness is a very charged situation and will take time to defuse. Regards accudoc 415 302 4397
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Post by suebe on Jul 25, 2007 23:42:57 GMT -5
I once blew up at everyone here. I'd been searching the web 14 hours a day, begging the onclogist to please figure out what it was (he thought DOP) I was so angry that my husband and daughters wouldn't join in the search to find answers to save my son. One day when they said to me "your missing time with him" looking for answers you won't find and it broke my heart. I lost it and came close to doing myself in because I felt like they didn't believe me. And because they were right, every second with him was a blessing I was missing. My husband said to me. Morgellons has ripped away my manhood. I'm the husband and father and I'm suppoised to make things better. I feel like i'm watching my son and wife die and my hands are tied behind my back. Then you show me this stuff and i don't know what it is, doctors don't know. it feels like you are pushing to remind me day after day that i'm weak and i'm not man enough. I backed off after that, I never show anyone my samples anymore. i don't want to put a burden on anyone, i do understand how he felt because i felt the same way watching day after day this horror stealing my son from me. It's hard for your man to watch you suffer. But he shouldn't be a jerk and run to your parents to tell on you, he should be ashamed of himself for that. Maybe a few weeks of sex for one with Sally and her four sisters would turn on a light bulb in his hard head.
You and all of us have thiss board to vent, use us not him cause we been there baby.
Good luck, love and good health, SueinMD
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Post by liz on Jul 26, 2007 0:46:26 GMT -5
Sue.... you are one of my favorites for sure...how ya doing today freaky? anything better....I sure hope you are ok...if you need my number to talk to a live Morg vioice you can get it fron Carrie and Ant.....24 hours a day sweetie...I never sleep anyway at night due to pain and crawlies so a 3 am call would not make me the least bit mad..(just don't call during Comedy Central with John Stewart) just kidding! if it goes to voice mail thats just cuz I have a few bill collectors after me..(unpaid dop idiots) I check the msg's and will call you back on my dime!
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Post by janedough on Jul 26, 2007 0:57:12 GMT -5
Hi Freaky- I started to respond and it sounded so stupid I just deleted it. I am in the same boat as you as far as husband is concerned, wish I had a suggestion. He just can't fix it 'cause it doesn't add up. Men need the reality that they were taught. They believe authority as truth not truth as authority.
I would also like to suggest you try with all you have in you to suck it up for the day on Friday and let your daughter have her day. Forget about this crap the best you can. She will really appreciate it and you just might enjoy yourself. I know how hard it can be. I truly do!!!!
Hang in there!!!!!!!
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Post by prevenge on Jul 26, 2007 2:40:03 GMT -5
I can't express how hideous this is the way he's treating me is. I may be depressed forever. Actually peeED OFF. Come on guys, talk to me. Slurppy wet kisses for all of you freaky freaksage. I was thinking i was going to have the same exaserbated story to tell all once i return from my visit to the parents after the 2nd of august. but i'm rethinking of how i will approach them with everythign that's going on with me. i imagine talking to my dad.. whom i haven't seen in ages.. about this or that.. or whatever superficial thing that comes to mind.. but nothing is meaningful to me to talk about except the wiring/movement / that's going on in my head.. but yet.. I dont want to freak him out.. because i know that that's just craziness to him. even though during every damn second of any conversation i have with him.. .. um.. wiring.. movement WILL be happening in my scalp. there's just no two ways about it. that's REAL to me.. but.. if i go dowon that path.. and say.. blablabla crawling feelings blablabla plant dna.. and TRY to convince someone that's so bought into the current standard of reality.. what's that going to do for me.. what's that going to do for THEM? what's that going to do for our relationship.. i think it will only bring aggrevation on me.. to the point where i explode and it gets real out of whack.. so i'm aiming this visit.. to just .. try as best that I can.. just to focus on the deeper things and heal some things that need healing. i mean .. i dont want to leave this world or go out of my mind .. with my parents being confused about what happened to me.. i'd much rather them. have fonder memories of me having fun with them.. talking about old times.. or enjoying new experiences.. laughing.. enjoying life.. doing fun things.. etc.. i've always wanted that with my dad.. i just never got to do it.. somestimes.. i avoided it.. sometimes.. i was just too confused to let it happen.. i've come to a point.. where...(i've contemplated suicide over Morg's many many times in the past) .. deeeeep disinterest in living through this confusion... come to a point where.. if i've looked death in the eye.. and said.. "HEY.. if i'm gonna end it because of this..." "then why not make the BEST of it before thathappens...".. and enjoy what i can with my parents.. with my loved ones.. like i never have before... i dunno. thats just what i thought. and i'm gonna try to make this visit real good. because i dont want to leave this life with them being confused. i know i went off on my own tangent.. but i hope this helps you in what you're going through. i KNOW what it's like being misunderstoodi understand. ///yums up a slurpy wet one/// nice! -M
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Post by Roberta Louise on Jul 26, 2007 3:03:51 GMT -5
Dearest prevenge I KNOW WHERE YOU ARE COMING FROM and I empsthise with you soooooo very very much. Have you considered that your life might be better without him? ? Mine walked out on me with my best friend while I was in hospital and I WAS SO DOWN AND LOW. It took 3 months and I was over it and wouldn't have him back for anything. I prefer to be on my own with my dog and off course this board. Roger my husband only derided me and called me all sorts of names very very very hurtful no support at all if I can help in any way please email me. My email address has changed it is now robbie26@xtra.co.nz Hang in there dear friend we all have our good and bad days. I must say with this thing it is mainly bad days. But sometimes I get a couple of hours relief and I thank God for them. HANG IN THERE!!! Much love and best wishes. Roberta.
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Post by prevenge on Jul 26, 2007 3:20:25 GMT -5
thing is .. roberta... THEY DONT KNOW. the people around us.. they dont KNOW what it's like. they are mesmerised.. hypnotised ... by this reality that is presented to them. look up Plato's allegory of the Cave. whatever is presented to the individual.. through sight and means.. is wha tthe individual will percieve as reality... the "theater" of war.. the "explanation"... of what is real... we have to deal with being "IN=BETWEEN" this all. and percieve it as we will.. but ACT accordingly.. within our current communal reality... and hold our heads up high.. understanding that people NOT affected by this.. understand life to a totally different degree or level of perceptoipn than we do... we're forced to percieve this all DIFFERENTLY than everyone else. and THIS is why .. when in my deepest depths of hell with this struggle.. i come BACK... HERE! to see YOU. and to touch you all.. and see what you've been going through. and try to help you through it. while helping mySELF through what YOU tell ME about YOUR experience... (and jokes ) thats all. thats all we can do now. just put puzzle pices together.. and stay together .. and try to weather the storm is all. that's all I can come up with. and I thnk that's good enough for now.. this could be bad.. or his could be GOOD. HONESTLY. we don't know. the world's a pretty effed up place right now. and WE'RE.. starting to be like.. people that are UNFIT for this planet's current circumstances... if you catch my drift. maybe that's why we're so tired and lethargic. we need something ELSE! but in the meantime.. we need to make ammends with people in our lives... well.. i'm not saying who should do WHAT.. but i know I need to make some serious ammends.. which I plan to. -M
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Post by Roberta Louise on Jul 26, 2007 3:25:09 GMT -5
Dear dear dear Freaky my heart goes out to you. Please tell me how many dogs you have and what breed they are. I think that I can help them. Now your husband, mine is an alcoholic and walked out when our daughter was three yers old but kept coming and going whenever he was kicked out of where he was living because he just trashed anywhere he lived. I took him back time and time again and Freaky he was just using me!!!!! For a roof over his head. He used to drink one and a half bottles of whisky or vodka a day and was so sarcastically mean to me with his mouth. Told me I was DOP even emailed the Doctor when he was drunk telling him that I was looney but because he was soooooooooo drunk his spelling and his message didn't make any sense he was just rambling in his alcoholic state. When he left with my best friend, I was a real real mess but gradually day after day I started to get my house and home back together. Roger my husband was a dirty filthy pig of an alcoholic and I started to find out that there was a better life without him even tho I had this terrible disease. After three months I didn't miss him at all!!! AND WOULD NOT HAVE HIM BACK FOR ANY REASON I MEAN THAT LOVE FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I loved him took him back time and time again BUT NEVER EVER EVER AGAIN. My daughter and my dog are my life now and you should concentrate on your dogs. I look forward to hearing from you love. My email address has changed if you want to email me it is robbie26@xtra.co.nz Don't hesitate to email me about anything or when you are really down or for no reson at all. I AM HERE FOR YOU AND TO TRY AND HELP YOU!!!!!!! Much much love and best wishes. Roberta.ps my phone number is 09 8466057 I don't know the code for New Zealand but the operator can tell you that. If you need to talk to someone RING ME!!!!!! Roberta.
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Post by prevenge on Jul 26, 2007 3:32:15 GMT -5
the Enter key is your friend.
not to disrupt anything...
just sayin..
-M
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Post by Roberta Louise on Jul 26, 2007 4:16:52 GMT -5
Hi there I am such a dumb head are you one and the same person freaky and prevenge? It doesn't matter I am only here to try and help people and also to get help by being on this board. You are all great people and have helped me so much by replacing the other board. I was at my wits end when that shut down. I thought that it was sooooooo unfare and uncaring just turning us all loose with no support. As you know it took Patti and Sidney weeks to get through to me on how to get on this board. I have never had a computer lesson in my life. The only thing I could do was type. I couldn't even control the mouse!!!!!!!! That is how stupid I am. But I have suffered a great deal in my life and can empathise with people and that is what we do here and give support AND UNDERSTANDING which is what we don't get from family and friends. It hurts sooooo much that my daughter thinks that I am DOP. I love her to bits and we are very close as we were alone together since she was three and we depended on each other and supported each other even a little one like that, slept in the big bed with Mummy until she was twelve. And then just one day out of the blue she said Mummy I want to sleep in my own bed tonight, my heart sank a little but I knew that it was the right time and right thing to do and it went with out a hitch. The same when she left home two weeks before her 21st my heart sank as she took all her things out of the house. I refrained from crying until she had gone and then broke my heart but my head told me it was the right time and right thing so got over that. Now she rings me nearly everynight just to say hello Mum had a good or bad day how are you and that's it. BUT THE CONTACT IS STILL THERE AND VERY STRONG and that is what we can get from this board. No one else in the world undersdtands us but US!!!!! I always look forward to your posts and please email me if you fee lke it. Love and best wishes. Roberta.
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Post by gregor on Jul 26, 2007 4:16:58 GMT -5
Freaky you're a good writer. Thanks for sharing. I hope it helped to write it down. We all can sympathize.(sp?)
...after a half century I realized that if you tell a man about a problem, he thinks you want him to fix it! Simultaneously, my brother learned that its comforting to be able to talk about a problem - no expectations are attached. Well you can tell - we were raised in a dysfunctional family. Not unique.
My man at home, with lots of medical experience, won't "look", and believes I'm delusional. If he hears me saying "damn you bastards", he at least understands I'm not talking to him, thus he can just ignore me and my so-called problem.
Generally, I find no one wants to talk about this. Thus I don't bring up the subject - plus side: that way you can avoid painful exchanges.
I told a friend 2 years ago:"You haven't seen me for a year because I didn't want you to catch this disease I got. Here are internet links to learn about it." (She also was borrowing more and more money). She said "oh I'm not worried" and has never asked me about it even though her own health problems are a main topic of conversation. So I go to her house now. I'm waiting to see if she ever asks; or catches morgs herself, which would make the secret evil part of me happy for a moment.
Here's another side of the coin: My sister is always aware of the morgellons, and scared of it, so she gets nervous if I'm in her house too long, and doesn't want her kids or herself to be in my house for more than a minute. That is hard. The trade-off is that she listens and believes what I tell her.
Are your dogs getting ivermectin? The Heartguard dose isn't very strong and non-herding breeds can take a bigger amount. Frontline might help (maybe they get this) - I don't know very much about the Frontline drug.
My dogs and I send our love.
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Post by Roberta Louise on Jul 26, 2007 4:50:21 GMT -5
Well it is me back again. (if I am boring you just click off) I CAN HELP YOUR DOGS!!!!!! I PROMISE. Why I want to know their breed because I am very very interested in dogs have been all my life. Now give them crushed up garlic in the food. Buy Manuka honey You can look it up on the internet and buy it that way. It is expensive but I would rather go without food and get the right things for Kyra my dog who is a Newdfoundland/Labrador cross a very very big girl Now you melt the manuka honey and you add cider vinegar (some times called apple cider vinegar] and SAFFLOWER OIL some people get confused with sunflower oil and safflower oil. Safflower oil is high in omega 3 and vitamen E and is the best!!!! I need to know the size of your dogs as to tell you how much to give them. But don't worry they cann't overdose on it and they love it!!!!! AND IT IS SOOOOOOOO GOOD FOR THEM!!!! At the same time it is good for you!!!! Yes it is good for humans, dogs, cats and horses. Tho it would cost a fortune to give it to horses but I guess if they were race horses the owners could afford it. I also bath Kyra weekly with an aloe vera shampoo and it really really helps her it also contains an antibacterial and anti fungus ingredients. Please try it out. I hope that you have a good day today. Make it good for yourself give yourself a treat be kind to yourself!!!!!!! Love and best wishes. Roberta.
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Post by Roberta Louise on Jul 26, 2007 5:03:56 GMT -5
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Post by freaky on Jul 26, 2007 5:07:37 GMT -5
Non-acceptance results in, or is, non-compliance, which is legitimized abuse. I think I heard that on a talk show, & wrote it down for one of my ponder moments. Yeah Lizard, I do believe I am being emotionally abused. Bill said he would go to counseling, but that idea freaks me out. Even though I'm right, my husband is an amazing man. He's an Aquarius. He could be given almost any subject and told to argue for, or against it, & whatever side he took, even if wrong, he could most likely win. He sells computer equipment for different companies. One company has the longest lead time, it's ridiculous. Compared to other equipment that does the same thing, it is way overpriced. This is just one example where Bill has to lie to make a living, and he can convince anyone who is looking for that particular application. Even my parents believe him over me which is unethical. Thank you for your advise, your compliment, & rooting for me. I'm always right about the dogs whenever some- thing is the matter with them, & Bill is always wrong. It's like he believes me, but won't admit it, & I can't figure it out. Carrie, I love you too. You're sweet, & sillier. suebe, I'm so sorry about your son. I hope he's getting better. You have a thoughtful husband. My husband may feel like yours, but definitely is denying it. It was totally the most humiliating experience having him running to my parents without even telling me first. Probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do was to forgive the jerk. Could be sex might be rewarding for me because he's not getting enough. Poor jerk. It's really hard to put out when you're angry though, even knowing it might make the Jerk more supportive. He's too smart. I believe he has an agenda. Thanks for your words of wisdom. food for thought. Accudoc, your a real man. I know you're right about it threatening his reality. Nevertheless, he should still support me. He loves me. I love him, yet the refusal to support me on this one thing has many implications. He accepts my illness, but not the dogs. He confirmed with the groomer that all older dogs have black spots. Well, I'm glad the groomer hasn't noticed the lesions. Plus that, it would be next to impossible for the dogs to not have gotten my disease, under the circumstances. I can't take the fact that for 4 years, he wouldn't accept the fact I had these beasts, & now that he finally has, just because my dr. finally gave in, & said I had it, he wants to say the dogs don't have it, & I can prove it, but he won't look. I've had so many serious conversations, & nil comes out of them. You are a kind man, & all you say is true, especially that prolonged illness is a very charged sit, & will take time to diffuse. But, how long? 10 years? 4 years of humiliation, & he still wants something to defy? I appreciate what you had to say. Thanks. Lizard, how sweet of you. I may do that. I don't know how the pain would be minus FMS, but I imagine it's bad. Have you thought about going to pain management? I guess that requires a diagnosed pre-existing condition though, & I don't know your situation. But, thanks again, I may just wing ya. Janedough, I'm beginning to see the light. Awesome. Women are from Venus, Men are from Mars. Now, if I could just get over this sick feeling in my stomach whenever I think about Bill, & his agenda. Since my fatigue, & Illness has been overwhelming the last 10 years, I totally destroyed the upstairs part of our house. I found a girl at the shoe shop that looked to be an incredible organizer so I asked her to work for me. She's been coming over, & I can now see a light at the end of the tunnel. Whenever I get my house picked up I can go back to painting. I quit that when I got morgellons. I can't wait. Maybe when I start painting again, I won't give the geezer a 2nd thought about whatever he thinks is the right thing to do, or say to his wife. Janedough, you couldn't say anything stupid, silly girl. Thanks so much for addressing my vents. Love ya, freaky
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Post by freaky on Jul 26, 2007 6:12:14 GMT -5
Prevenge, you are so enlightening. Seems the beasts are leaving your brain intact. Lucky you. Thanks for expounding on a most difficult subject. I'd say more, but I'm passing out. Thanks.
Roberta,I have 2 soft coated wheaten terriors. They weigh a pound or 2 less than 40 lbs. they've started loosing weight. I will ccertaily get the recipe. I'm sorry I'm seeing dojble now. Ill, expound on this more tomorrow.
Gregor, that was one of the nicest compliments I've ever had. For real. I love you.
to all a good night, or morning now, you're all so dear to my heart
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Post by Patti on Jul 26, 2007 11:51:07 GMT -5
Freaky I had a long email started to you but somehow lost it all so I will respond here, starting from square one but also deeply from the heart. I think it's futile to try and change Bill, especially with him drinking......which by the way is a no-no for diabetics and that could explain a lot of his actions. I know how much you want to be able to discuss Morgellons with him but for whatever reason he obviously doesn't want to hear it (and many in this thread have given excellent explanations as to why). I think the harder you try to convince him the worse it is affecting you and sometimes it's better to just let it go. My Dad and I are very close.....he calls me every morning and says that hearing my voice is as much a part of his day as the three S's, lol. If he doesn't talk to me he feels like he's missing something for the rest of the day, yet I still cannot bring up Morgellons to him, or even Lyme. The minute I start to discuss it, he will interrupt me and say something like "How 'bout them Broncos?", so I finally realized he just doesn't want to hear it. It's not because he isn't interested, I think in this case he feels if the knowledge is not there he won't have to worry about me. One thing you said that really struck me is your desire to start painting again. Once you have that upstairs area cleaned out, I hope you can go up there and paint to your heart's content. Even if you don't paint everytime you're there, it could be your little haven away from the madness you've had to live through. Maybe you could even start a journal and go up there for quiet time to think clearly and write without distractions. Let out all your anger and stresses in that journal but don't forget to also include all of the good things left in your life, everything that you are grateful for. I think you will find this process can be very healing and you won't feel such a need for Bill's approval any longer. When he sees you are changing and taking care of yourself without him, he may really want to change too or he could get worse. Whatever happens, at least you won't have lost yourself to him and you will know which road you need to take for a better future. It won't be easy but getting your dreams back is something you need to do for yourself. After that, your whole outlook on life will change and whether or not he changes won't be such a priority any longer. I wish you peace, much love, and better days ahead.....I know they are coming so be ready to embrace them. And I too think you should go to your daughter's function on Friday and really enjoy yourself. This is something she will remember forever and you want those memories of hers to be good ones. I think it will do a lot for you too....you may even be surprised at how much fun you'll have. You've had the world on your shoulders for too long, now it's time for you to go and join that world. I know you can do it! Many Hugs! Patti
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Post by toni on Jul 26, 2007 13:19:30 GMT -5
Freaky,
You poor sweetie....I think many of us can relate. Have your hubby call mine this weekend, I'm serious.
And what Accudoc said and how you agreed and said below in brackets, I too thought the SAME exact thing when I read that:
( You said: I know you're right about it threatening his reality.)
I think or feel that's all it is. Mine barely talks of it, looks at it, unless I twist his arm, and when I say come look at this under the scope, he says, I DON'T want to see it...and the day I had all that brown stuff running out of a lesion on my face, mine said, get that "sh*t" off your face. hahaha YEAH...like it was nothing but something that I just needed to wipe off.
As though I got into something, and could just wash it OFF! I screamed this is coming out of my face my skin!
But...that 'seemed' very ignored by him. Only because I "too feel" as Accudoc said. It's a threat and a THREAT that "they" have no control over...so I believe it's in their minds, but some have to be that Mars thing - it's some's nature all the way.
Or actually they are from Mars, ha ha, and we just thought that was a saying....but seriously, it only looks like they aren't there for us when we're needing so much more, but they are, just not how we might need.
Ask Bill to look on the CDC site, because the symptoms are listed, that might help him grasp that this truly is as real as you've said all along.
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