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Post by Nameless on Jul 6, 2005 9:22:57 GMT -5
I wanted to take the time out to thank you all for helping me. But Im tired now and losing this battle. Tired of being fritened and alone and bugs and not getting anywhere. I was doing well then relape after relapse has consumed me. I am planning to end it all and very soon.
Its too much for me now, Id rather end this misery than endure it another moment. Keep fighting those of you strong enough...I just cant anymore.
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linda
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Post by linda on Jul 6, 2005 11:04:21 GMT -5
Don't do it. Believe me, we have all been there, but don't do it. Have you been able to see any healthcare professionals like Ginger Savely? In other words, are you sure you have tried everything? I sympathize completely, but let's see if we can find a better approach. Maybe we should all get together and march on Washington. As a group, we really aren't doing enough to bring this disease to light. I guess we're all scared. I think we are relying too much on Mary to save us--she can only do so much.
Please put the idea out of your mind and give me a call (916) 683-5459.
Linda
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Post by DOCP on Jul 6, 2005 11:09:29 GMT -5
I know I know we know how you feel. I have never in my life considered suicide till deep in the throws of this. And I didn't consider it suicide but as the only means to an end... the only way out, the only escape. I have been so frightened and so utterly exhausted that I want to scream WHAT OTHER FRIGGEN CHOICE DO I HAVE?? It is torcher and enough is enough! Until I look at my 4 and 7 year old. To what? Battle this by themselves? My mother bear kicks in and I get pisst. I may die trying but I will NOT die by default! Nameless - get angry if you can. Summon your will and your disgust for this demon and turn it against itself. You have to wait for we are getting closer. We are strength in numbers and look at all the numbers increasing daily. We are becoming a force. So many have stated they are committing their lives to finding this out. Nameless - you are a frontrunner for this disease and you have relapsed and started getting better aand relapsed and kept on, etc. which tells me YOU ARE STRONG, YOU ARE A FIGHTER. We need you. Take a break and let others fight for a bit but don't give up yet. Please! I can't bear it if we all start giving up one by one. Wondering if maybe this is the only option. Nameless - whomever you are and wherever you live... call me collect 208-860-5205. My name is Alexandra and I will listen, talk, help, whatever you need. Please God here our prayers.
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Post by JLR on Jul 6, 2005 11:31:53 GMT -5
Don't give up, we need your voice; stand up and be counted. Please reconsider and fight the good fight.
JLR
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Post by DOCP on Jul 6, 2005 11:52:42 GMT -5
Linda - I agree. We need to be more radical. I'll bet most people (if they're like me), use up the majority of their radical energies to keep their head afloat on a day to day basis, i.e. to get groceries, to do laundry, to pay bills, etc. When I do have an abundance of energy (abundance meaning a small fraction of what I used to have), I long so much to pretend things are normal that I use it to go to the park or take us to a movie. Okay, Linda, and Nameless... I am going to brainstorm. And I know others have been brainstorming... Keep Going Everyone! We're going to figure this out! "When you're going through hell... keep on going." -Winston Churchill
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Post by ANTHILL on Jul 6, 2005 12:46:12 GMT -5
Dear nameless I have thought about ending it all everyday for over four years but every time I go to do the deed some angel intervenes and gives me hope (traratu mary patti hope jess Kerry deb BB,--and many others ) not to name any names or anything oops' I guess I did" and not that they know that they are intervening
I am alone too --well almost considering the detachment of my family I might as well be but--
I have found some true friends here at lymebusters you would be surprised how much fellowshipping helps to keep you keep it keepen on It suddenly becomes about the folks you are helping to get to the bottom of this and takes the focus off your problems as intense as it may get I guess what I am trying to say here is join in with us here you will be surprised how it helps to help others
you know I'm not a not a real religious person but their is a saying and I'm not sure were it came from But I do believe it is true because I have experienced it first hand it goes something like this: god will not give you any more than you can endure
Point in fact every time I go to to do my self in and I mean every time" and I fail to go through with it this crap lets up or I find some concoct that helps and gives me hope and also gives me time to regroup and think about what I am dong to fight this thing and what is working and what is not" and I think to my self as I am having a better day than usual I'm glad I didn't do it last night
nameless" this stuff goes in cycles am not sure but I suspect that the way you sound that your having a continuous hatch out you have so many thingys in your system (like I use too knock on wood) don't get me wrong I still have lots more to do and go through but with every day with the help of my friends on LB's I think I will muddle through and so should you you are needed and yes you matter I know it doesn't feel that way now and I don't think you realize but you do
A tip: one keep your body well oiled with skin so soft and rub it in hard I wont kid you it has taken months for me to were them down to were I have a breather in between cycles
and with the adding of the infrared heat lamp it has speeded up the process I get to boil the son's- a -bitches in oil talk about going mid-evil
I hope you stay alive from my heart to yours---ant
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linda
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Post by linda on Jul 6, 2005 13:15:52 GMT -5
Nameless,
I hope you are having a change of heart. Like Alexandra, I have a seven, four, and eighteen month old with this disease. In addition, I believe my husband has it as he seems to be chronically tired. I can't possibly leave the ones I love in this mess to fend for themselves. If we give up so easliy, what are we saying to the next generation of sufferers? Alexandra, we have to mobilize in some fashion or else wait a lifetime (however shorter that may become) for any real help. The CDC and AMA seem to be pretty satisfied with us just doing ourselves in--less bother for them. I think a good way to mobilize would be to tie up all modes of communication for political figures. If nobody will listen to us, then they shouldn't listen to anyone else either! We need to force them to pay attention.
Any other suggestions?
Thanks, Linda
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Post by Lisa on Jul 6, 2005 15:07:35 GMT -5
Do not let the enemy win. It has taken too much from us already. Fight it at all costs. You can do it. We are all here to help you. You can fight this thing, you can. Please come back here or call one of numbers posted.
We are lifting you up friend.
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Post by DOCP on Jul 6, 2005 15:24:08 GMT -5
Linda - How do we tie up their communication? Do you mean flog them with letters?
Maybe we should cut and paste Nameless's post and send it to all 50 Senators and the hundreds of Congressmen. And say "Do you want this on your head?" "Your constituents are crying out. For their lives. Why aren't you helping?" Or maybe put it into terms they can understand... "Do you want this on your political platform?" A person saying I am going to kill myself if you don't help me? Can your campaign really afford to ignore a plea to save their life? If you ignore, there are thousands of us to remind you that you ignored, and remind each of your would-be voters how you could have helped spare someone's life... but chose not to.
You're right Linda, we need to hit them where it hurts so we can be heard. Blackmail perhaps. I mean who the heck cares about morals and ideals when our lives are at stake... They certainly don't. We are the victim of a pathogen and remain this way because we are also victims of predatory capitalism. But taking on the victim role is only weakening us. They've got us all so busy explaining and reexplaining ourselves... "no we're not dop, no we're not depressed, etc." that we're loosing strength simply defending ourselves.
How about this... Everyone on the board who is willing can send me a hard copy of their story (including their symptoms, suffering, happenings, whatever they want), but each letter addressed "Dear Senator" I will take everyone's letter, make 50 plus copies of each and send each person's letter in it's own envelope to every single U.S. senator. We should do the U.S. House of Reps for they are supposed to handle our direct needs, but there are so many so maybe just start with this side of Congress for now. And copies to the office of the First Lady as well. One problem may be that they recognize we are not all from their home state, but I say who cares... it's a National issue. What am I saying... it's International! We'll see if the USofA can buck up to what she claims "The Greatest this and the Greatest that..."
What do you think Linda? Nameless? Anyone? Do you have ideas to fine-tune this plan? Because if it sounds good... I'll do all the paperwork, pay for all the copies and postage, I'll open a P.O. Box to help facilitate, whatever. All everyone needs to do is send me their story (typed, e-mail print, or longhand) and I am willing do the rest. I'll run it by Mary too.
Nameless - Are you still here? Please wait. I need your help. We are going to save our children. Ourselves.
"When you're going through hell... keep on going." -Winston Churchill
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Post by Lisa on Jul 6, 2005 15:42:21 GMT -5
Don't lose this momentum. Keep this going and don't stop. It's time to play hardball.
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linda
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Post by linda on Jul 6, 2005 15:55:34 GMT -5
When I say "tie up their modes of communication," I mean we should be emailing them, calling them, sending letters to them non-stop 24/7 until we are noticed. Ever see the first scene in the first Harry Potter movie (I have kids remember) in which his house becomes flooded with letters? This should be us, only not just in the form of letters. We could begin by making a list of addresses and emails, including mainstream media, and start clicking and writing away. It is kind of like a filabuster. We won't allow them to continue on with their work and just push us aside because they will be unable to get back to work!
Whadda ya think?
Linda
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Post by Hope on Jul 6, 2005 16:44:24 GMT -5
When you reach the end of your rope, tie a knot in it and hang on. ~ Thomas Jefferson Dear Nameless, I'm glad that you are reaching out. My Mom always tells me, "this too shall pass" and it always does. I'm sending you my prayers because I have been in the same space as you many times and it is very painful and dark there. May the angles light your path and restore your hope. To All, I love the spirit of everyone here. Yes, we need to get very mad and take a big stand. This is long over due and it's all up to us. This is a matter of life and death and we have nothing to lose but everything to gain. Back in April I had suggested that we construct a petition. I am asking for everyone’s help to recharge and continue this effort to further our cause. lymebusters.proboards39.com/index.cgi?board=general&action=display&thread=1114010984&page=1"How about this... Everyone on the board who is willing can send me a hard copy of their story (including their symptoms, suffering, happenings, whatever they want), but each letter addressed "Dear Senator" I will take everyone's letter, make 50 plus copies of each and send each person's letter in it's own envelope to every single U.S. senator. We should do the U.S. House of Reps for they are supposed to handle our direct needs, but there are so many so maybe just start with this side of Congress for now. And copies to the office of the First Lady as well. One problem may be that they recognize we are not all from their home state, but I say who cares... it's a National issue. What am I saying... it's International! We'll see if the USofA can buck up to what she claims "The Greatest this and the Greatest that..." I love this idea and I want to have our stories delivered along with copies of a looooong list of names on a formal petition. One story of each constituent for each Senator in every state delivered on the same day as a big, fat petition signed from people from all over America will make an enormous impact and advances our cause tremendously. We will never be recognized as legitimate if we will not fight and I believe this avenue is the best way to accomplish our goals. What are we waiting for? Peace, Hope
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Post by Nameless on Jul 6, 2005 19:52:44 GMT -5
You guys all know me well and that is why I didnt post my name. I appreciate all your compassion, I have done all that is possoible and maybe some impossible. I'm getting my affairs in order. I just dont have any thing left.
And it seems as though God has not heard me.
Again thank you, tonight Im still here, but my plans remain the same.
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Post by Administration on Jul 6, 2005 20:20:02 GMT -5
I know exactly how you feel.. I do! Even after all this I still feel this way sometimes myself.. But Im angry as hell.. Im so angry knowing what they let me go thru, knowing what went on and no one doing anything about it.. I HAVE to go on. I cant let them get away with it can I? Im living for revenge.. but Im living. And I need you. We all need you. Help me get even..I need this. I cant have lived my life, going thru all this, watching my friends go thru this..knowing what I know to just someday die knowing I never got even. This is Nancys month.. a year ago she died...I cant have another leave. Please write me...
Kerry
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linda
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Post by linda on Jul 6, 2005 20:27:29 GMT -5
What we need is a computer hacker! We need someone to mess-up their modes of communication. You can't tell me that hacking into and messing up their systems wouldn't get us noticed.
Nameless, do you know anything about hacking into computers? I don't know why I ask. Something just prompted me to.
Linda
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Post by DOCP on Jul 6, 2005 20:35:44 GMT -5
NO. Can you please please just give us some more time? Because I haven't tried everything possible. Will you let me give you some help? Some money? Someone to talk to? Anything that might tie you over a bit longer. I'm not trying to talk you out of it... but to at the very least postpone your plans for now. God knows how awful this is and he knows exactly how unequipped we are with the resources to deal with this. But he gave us faith and hope and intelligent minds to reason with, and love and perseverance. You must have these still within you. You do have something left. You have a beating heart and beautiful soul and you have me. I know my friendship doesn't seem like much for I am just some girl in in cyber space typing words on your screen. But I'm real and I care and I will be your friend on the phone or you can come see me. And I know having some random new friend won't cure you right now, but maybe, possibly, I can't help you wait until we find a cure. I know you want to die... so do I sometimes. But we CAN NOT. Okay? We just can't. We can't let eachother just die. I don't know what to say. Please please wait. I know you don't want sympathy and I know you are very serious and I know you're not asking for anything. But I am. I'm asking you to please hold on. I'll help you hold on okay. Again, it's Alex 208-860-5205
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Post by Lisa on Jul 6, 2005 21:14:27 GMT -5
I don't know what state you live in, but I'm in Texas. I ditto everything Alex said. You have a friend in me and we can battle this together. I know the words everyone here has written are true and comes from the heart. You don't know what role you may play in the future. I know this is a selfish thing for me to say, but don't deny us the possible benefits your knowledge may bring us. You have complete strangers who care deeply for you. This disease is what brought us together. It's what got us out of our own little boxes and made us see another side of humanity. You can stick it out longer. Don't throw in the towel just yet. We can take each day as it comes together. This isn't a bunch of bs. Just hang in there and we will all start working harder. We just needed a kick start.
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Post by Lisa on Jul 6, 2005 21:26:36 GMT -5
One more thing. You say God has not heard you. I don't believe that is true. He just hasn't granted your wish. There is a reason for that. He sees the big picture. He sees what the outcome of all of this is going to be. He is wanting you to grow closer to him in the meantime. He could possibly be forming you into a warrior through the suffering. If he is not taking this away from us, there is a good reason for that. We may hate it, but we are not the ones in control. We have to figure out what needs to be done and listen to him. He hasn't abandoned you. That's not his character. It's the opposite. He's wanting you to depend more on him and not on man.
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Post by skytroll on Jul 6, 2005 21:28:59 GMT -5
Nameless, I have been having this stuff squeeze my heart, and it hurts, but I am not letting the bast.....ds get away with this. I am fighting for my life too. But, the medical community has abused us, they have neglected us and we need a full scale attact on media, president, vp, house, senate and we could contact Judical Watch. We would all have a life case, here. You see, this is what they want us to do. They want to call us medically unfit so the Pharma can drug us. ARE WE GOING TO LET THEM GET AWAY WITH THIS? They want us to do ourselves in. I WILL FIGHT TO THE END. I WANT TO SEE THEM IN THOSE PRISONs THEY HAVE ALL OVER THE COUNTRY. WERE HAVE ALL THE HUMANITARIANS GONE? WHERE ARE THOSE WHO CARE FOR THE LEAST AMONG US? THEY ARE OUT THERE FOLKS. HANG ON BECAUSE THEY WILL AS WE WILL PERSIST AND WE WILL OVERCOME. IT'S THE MORGELLON MOVEMENT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!LETS CRUISE RIGHT INTO THOSE WITH THEIR HEALTHY, ELITE ENVIRONMENTS AND EXPOSE THIS THING. FIGHT.....NAMELESS.............FIGHT. LETS REPORT DOCTORS WHO REFUSE TO TREAT US TO THE FBI. LETS REPORT THEM TO THE MEDICAL BOARDS. I AM GOING TO GET LISTS OF WEBSITES SO WE CAN HAMMER EVERYTHING. GIVE ME WEBSITES TO NEWSPAPERS YOU HAVE WEBS FOR IN YOUR AREAS. LETS HIT THE LOCAL HEALTH DEPARTMENTS TOO. LETS HAVE A MARCH ON WASHINGTON. I HAVE LEFT LITTLE WWW.MORGELLONS.ORG NOTES AROUND. TAKE CARE ALL AND REMEMBER THAT "GOD DON'T MAKE NO JUNK" I heard it from a priest who wore sandles and jeans. skytroll
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Post by Metta on Jul 6, 2005 23:18:03 GMT -5
Nameless-- I don't think you are nameless! Because your name is our name! A fellow sufferer! A human being! A sick & tired person! Just like we all are! All of us have wanted to die, and most certainly felt like we were so many times before, and yet here we are! Everyone here has suffered so much, lost so much, and We just can't let you die! Not by killing yourself! Don't you know what the Revenge is?? it is getting well! You just have to stay strong in your mind, and damn man, look at the strength we are giving you for your soul! To actually KNOW that strangers Love you! That strangers will help you! And trust me... they will! When I was first sick, oh my God, strangers actually sent me money to help me when I had first lost Everything! And that happened to so many others too! We have all payed it forward too! You are NOT alone! Please!! Do not give them the satisfaction of seeing you dead! Those Dr's of Genacide! Tell us what you need to make your life worth living, and we will do our best to see that you get it! You just must hang on! Please! Peace & Love,Metta
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