Post by itchingntexas on Jul 23, 2005 22:40:29 GMT -5
Ed (and everyone else) Amen, and Amen, and Amen!
---You jump over furniture in slow motion screaming, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" because you see someone too close to a corner which might not have been vacuumed today. This culminates in a long speech to your children, and finally, in your walking up in the morning to find your children still sitting on the living room rug where you left them the night before. When asked why they're there, they respond, "You told us not too move." You realize you simply forgot you had children.
---You keep the huge masses of hair you lose in the shower and throughout the day, so you can show it to someone and say, "See, I told you", believing that it helps somehow.
----You fantasize about the bitter showdown you will one day have with any doctor who has ever rebuffed you. In the fantasy, you are bigger, stronger, more beautiful or handsome, and you say all the right things. You eloquently throw around medical terms the doctor has never heard before. The doctor says something lame like, "You were right all along. You know it all, and I am a worthless loser. He bursts into tears, sobbing, "You don't don't know what it's like for me!! My father...he never really loved me..."
----You fantasize about going to a local university, walking in, and taking the final exam for (biochemistry, natural medicine, md???) and acing it completely. In this fantasy, all your friends and family ask in awe, "How did you ever do it??!" You just smile to yourself, wink, and throw a little secret wave to your Morgie friends, hiding in a nearby shrub...the cool theme music plays...
---Your family wants to know why you never buy soap or shampoo anymore, and you smile pridefully to yourself, thinking how you have secured a patent on the ultimate, homemade antiparasitic soap. You begin to fantasize about winning the nobel peace prize for your healing work in New Guinea...
---You jump over furniture in slow motion screaming, "NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!" because you see someone too close to a corner which might not have been vacuumed today. This culminates in a long speech to your children, and finally, in your walking up in the morning to find your children still sitting on the living room rug where you left them the night before. When asked why they're there, they respond, "You told us not too move." You realize you simply forgot you had children.
---You keep the huge masses of hair you lose in the shower and throughout the day, so you can show it to someone and say, "See, I told you", believing that it helps somehow.
----You fantasize about the bitter showdown you will one day have with any doctor who has ever rebuffed you. In the fantasy, you are bigger, stronger, more beautiful or handsome, and you say all the right things. You eloquently throw around medical terms the doctor has never heard before. The doctor says something lame like, "You were right all along. You know it all, and I am a worthless loser. He bursts into tears, sobbing, "You don't don't know what it's like for me!! My father...he never really loved me..."
----You fantasize about going to a local university, walking in, and taking the final exam for (biochemistry, natural medicine, md???) and acing it completely. In this fantasy, all your friends and family ask in awe, "How did you ever do it??!" You just smile to yourself, wink, and throw a little secret wave to your Morgie friends, hiding in a nearby shrub...the cool theme music plays...
---Your family wants to know why you never buy soap or shampoo anymore, and you smile pridefully to yourself, thinking how you have secured a patent on the ultimate, homemade antiparasitic soap. You begin to fantasize about winning the nobel peace prize for your healing work in New Guinea...