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Post by overandover on Oct 23, 2009 14:46:03 GMT -5
The Vet. wanted to get LadyBugs infection better before doing her experiment, biology surgery, so far she's not had much lucK with Labs regarding other critters she treats Morgellons, said she has sent many many samples and always gets a don't now back from the labs, no surprise to me.
LadyBug gets her surgery next week, then more samples sent out to the labs.
The Vet. thinks Morgellons is related to this BD because of a patient (a frog, many of them, and the owner of the frog also has Morgellons). The Vet. and the lady paitent came up with the idea it is the Bd. because it looks like it on both the lady and all of her frogs. The lady told my Vet. that it has been proved at some lab over in New Zeland that this is Morgellons and that folks get it from the frogs or plants that Bd have crossed kingdoms.
Themore she talked, the more mixed up I got but hopefully we will get some answers when the lab looks at LadyBugs samples next week.
That would be the best blessing in my whole world for answers found for you all, my future grandbabies, childrens and friends, heck everyone in this world because Morgellons is spreading and I'm getting so scared for everyone.
ALSO: Dear friends if anyone knows of a lab or anyplace that would be willing to take my body for studies. That would make me feel so proud and doing something for mankind. I've talked to the lawyer and set up to pay my body where ever it needs to go, please let me know if you know of a place, please.
I love you xoxoxoxoSuebe
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Post by overandover on Oct 21, 2009 11:49:10 GMT -5
My Bannanny and dear friends, I feel the love and I thank God for all of you.
I wish I could get my mind right so that I could write more but I'm just a mess. Tomorrow at 1pm the hospital team will be here, hoping they can help me with something to help clear my brain and help my eyes.
Feeling hopeful and thankful for all of you, praying CDC comes for answers soon.
Love, xoxoxoxoxoSuebe
Bannanny I have a great husband and I hate the thought of him being alone, he loves critters also, sounds like someone else I love xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxooxxoxSuebe
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Post by overandover on Oct 20, 2009 12:31:25 GMT -5
Frito66 please get to a lung doctor sweetie, remember when that happened to me the Doctor thought I'd had a heart attch. sent me for a whole work up with several test, heart was fine. Heart doc. sent me to lung doctor and they found the problems.
I don't wANT TO SCARE YOU BUT YET i WANT TO SCARE ALL OF YOU INTO GETTING SCARED.
Things can get caught in time. I want all of this stuff to end here......................................... This crap is going to far, too many, it has to stop now, damn it.
Please go to the lung doctor, please, love much xoxoxoxSuebe
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Post by overandover on Oct 20, 2009 12:21:30 GMT -5
The vet., when seeing Lady Bug yesterday seems to believe Morgellons is caused by this Bd stuff. I think some of you all have mentioned this Bd before but just in cause I figured I'd post this. She has no idea how to fix this for LadyBug and is trying anti's again. She was glad I refused to do the steriods treatments because she thinks it would spread the Morgellons worse as steroids should not be used for infections. I'm glad she agrees with my fear of it.
I'm wishing I'd never giving it to josh but was doing what the doctors said he had to live with, I'll never know.
I hope this info. can help you all cause I love you all so very much. And I'm sorry if I'm just repeating old news.
Love you so much xoxoxoxxoSuebe
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Post by overandover on Oct 19, 2009 11:54:58 GMT -5
Bessie could my doctor pull a tube of blood and send it down there ASAP. I'd sure love to do this, wonder if it can be done in every state? Love, xoxoxoxoSuebe
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Post by overandover on Oct 19, 2009 11:38:51 GMT -5
Thank you pinning this for me, I love you all so much and pray evryone is feeling better with each day. You all deserve only good things in life.
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Post by overandover on Oct 19, 2009 11:37:01 GMT -5
I deleted my last post cause it was a jumbled mess, try not to get on when mixed up, hee hee OK I'm a mixed up ole gal all the time, right. Gosh I love youguys so much. To make my post short. I've had loads of love. A great hubby. Wonderful children even with the trials of bring them up the love we get from them is 10000 times worth it, huh All is will with me and who ever said Doctors Know All, not no one here, I'm sure. Anyone know how to use a scan?, got one came with my printer years ago, never learned how to use it. I'd like to post the cat scan, who's to say it's not the leasions others with Morgellons have, can't get the MRI and they have not done a biopsy on my brain so how can they call it cancer. Just wants to do more treatment that could very well kill me. I'm not being in denial, i'm not, I hear what they say, but where is the proff, as far as I know small cell cancer is from Morgellons. I don't want to scare you all but I do wish you all get get MRI'S and test for cancer, we have to put a stop to all this mess. My daughter said when ever they find something inside and they don't know what it is, they always call it cancer, don't know if thats true or not, but it would not surprise me. Our Lady Bugs has started itching on her paws now, Tom takes her to the Vet. this afternoon, over the weekend she pulled all the skin off the top of her foot and the bone is showing. This lady better put her foot under the microscope this time. I'm so angry that they never look at things, man it makes me so angry. I think I better get my butt in the car and go also and raise some hell. I hope this post made sence and I'm sorry I keep on and on. Feel like I'm on some real strange drugs, if only it made me feel good and not just a mixed up mess. I love ya's so much xoxoxoxoxo Suebe
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Post by overandover on Oct 17, 2009 16:47:05 GMT -5
I have been able to read your kinds word on my lap top upstairs but it is to sick to reply. The poor thing needs to go to the old folks for laps, it skips every other letter so trying to write can be crazy, sometimes i can only get it up if it wants to, works better if I turn on the scan prior to AOL, anyway I won't wright a book about the silly thing. Please know that I think of you all 24/7 and tom and I are trying to figure out how to get a new one cause I'm scared coming up and down these steps, unsteadiness, numbness hits when it wants and I've had one bad fall so now a chicken, could crawl but fibers on the floor, yuck. I love you all so much and I want you all to know there are no folks in this world better then you all. Just think we have never met one another, but yet are friendship and love is so deep, we did go to war together, didn't we? And you all are the strongest folks I have ever come across in my whole life. There has to be a reason for this, one day we will get that answer but I think we are the special ones. Yes I do look forward to seeing my Josh again on day and what a day it will be when Robbie ( my mind just when blank) I'm sorry but we remember all of the wonderful folks we have lost even with my brain fart, we will always remember the beautiful grand way our young Travis could write, or the wonderful lady down in VA, wow how much she did for our cause to get Morgellons on her death cert. what a great feat that was. And our beautiful song writer and the great music she could write and sing, even funny words to help us get through the hell we lived, all the way back to one of the first we lost Wilson, Oh how much Robbie got such help and support from him, he was a great gift to Roberta and what a blessing it must have been when finally they met in heaven. I just want you all to know that I'm OK, have such wonderful memories, such wonderful love, a great hubby and children that make me so very proud of them. what a Blessing to feel like I done good I know where my beautiful son is, he is with our God and all of the others that went before him, he is in safe arms till I get there. I know my baby is OK and if Gods wish I'd love to see my girls become parents and the joy of becoming parents and I must be honest I would really love to see my Mason Joshua (due Dec.7th) become a rotten 16 year old so that I could say "Momma told ya's" He'll grow out of this and that, it's part of grow in. I want to grow old with Tom, he got the shaft the past 4 years with me being sick, thats alot to stick by, hard for anyone who has no idea what we go through gonna go put coffee on and continue later, 5 houses down are on fire, going to go make sure they got the animals out, later
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Post by overandover on Oct 12, 2009 15:36:35 GMT -5
Hi Everyone, I'm so sorry that last I gave great news and have to follow up with bad. But letting you all know whats going on to me is as important as my family, you are my family and my strength from the past five years has come for you all and also from Nuspa (where i started) and was so happy to find some of the golden friends here when they had to shut down. I LOVE YOU EACH AND EVERYONE I LOVE YOU You held me up as Josh died and I've felt the warmth of your love and prayers with me all along. OK ya know I'm long winded My doctor called me this morning and the news is bad. Things have been going down for me the past two weeks, fast and bad. They did another cat scan Thursday (can't do the MRI cause I have two metal clips in my brain) The cancer has spread into the brain, several masses and alot of swelling. I've had headaches so so painful and non stop. I'm falling alot Walking like a drink Getting very very confusion. The left side gets completely numb and around the right arm. I could go on and on but it's all so ugly. So it's bad and I won't do the steroids, so doctor told me this should go pretty fast. Steroids may get me a few months but it will be a ugly month's and I don't want that, Morgellons left me with just a tiny bit of dignity left, I won't give the tiny bit left to Cancer.I pray you all can respect my decision with that. I'm so sorry you guys. I so wanted this to go well and I so badly wanted to put together are "Free from Morgellons Picnic" when we all got better, please do that one day, the day will come, it has too, it will, answers will come. I'll be watching and dancing with each of you as you all get healed. I'll be dancing so hard that if it's winter there will probably be a heatwave or if it's summer, it will snow cause my big ole behind will be a dancing. Each and everyone of you have touched my heart in a way no one else could and I've been so very blessed to be touched by you. My Morgellons faith was finding you, it blessed me with you. Thank you for loving me. And I know i don't have to ask you this, I know the answer. Please be there for my children if they reach out and tell there how darn proud I am of them and how they were my greatest success story and how very special they make me feel I was the reason for being here and I did so good. I love you more then you could ever know xoxoxoxoxoSuebe P.S. Sidney you made my day with the card, my smile was so big it hurt my mouth, a good hurt, thank you my dear friend.
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Post by overandover on Oct 1, 2009 10:40:37 GMT -5
Dear Ibzahp, I'm so sorry you and bark are feeling so bad. Please ask the vet to check Bark through a culture from the wound and make sure they tell you what they find. Bannanny just reminded me a few days ago that the Pseudomonas Aeruginosa that my LadyBug (my Boarder Collie) is being treated for now, anyway Bannanny reminded me that other Morgies have been diagnosed with it. Our dear Roberta that we lost had it.
My Vet. put LadyBug on Hydroxyzine and Baytril, her infection lesion where the vet. got a very large fiber ball out is drying up but I'm worries about it because we've been down this road before. If the area of his surgery gets moist and the skin gets a very strange shine to it, get him in ASAP, thats what happened to her prior to a big full blown Morgellons infection in 2004, the treatment took months and it was so nasty, ended up having to get several skin grafts.
I don't want to scare you but I want you to know what this horror can do to our pets.
You are on top of whats going on with your little guy and I'm sure he will be just fine cause his Momma is there for him. My heart breaks for the little guy and i don't mean to make a funny here but what must he think? He went to sleep, woke up with no doodads and now feels like h$ll, he will need much hugging from you and lots of good boys from his Daddy cause he must be thinking, WHAT ON EARTH HAPPENED?
As for you, yep it sounds like you need a Detox like bannanny said. Josh use to get the fiber balls like crazy in his urine. I get them for a while, then it will stop and with in a few weeks or months it's back again, can always see that black ring in my toilet when I have it and my urine smells so bad at that time. Each time the doctor finds a different bacteria in my urine, it's never the same so we don't know what to think. My kidneys are a mess also and the doctor has talked about dialysis in the past but then the meds always help and get me out of it.
I'm sending love and hugs to the both of you.
Bark feel better soon buddy oxoxoxoxo, Suebe
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Post by overandover on Oct 1, 2009 10:08:46 GMT -5
Dear Bessie, I'm so very sorry you lost your beloved sister and it cuts my heart like a knife to hear of her losing a battle to a brain tumor because I know that it was a real battle to fight, but if she was anything like you I know she did it with every ounce of strength and courage a lady can have because I think she has a very brave sis.
I'm sorry you couldn't make it there to the funeral but do know she understands why because she's now in a place where ALL is understood.
I hope through our connection of "family LOVE" here that my Josh met her at the gate with the others from your family that are already there, I hope he got to hug her through our love.
I'm so sorry Bessie and I'm so hurting for you. I love my little sister so much, it would be like missing a part of me to lose her and I wish i could find words to help ease your pain right now.
Dear God please hold our Bessie in her arms extra tight for a while and please give her a break for a bit from the horror she lives, please give her strength.
Love xoxoxoxoxo, Suebe
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Post by overandover on Sept 30, 2009 19:44:12 GMT -5
I wanted to pop in and thank you all for all the love you sent me and LadyBug, she's doing better and again I must thank you for your prayers.
The power behind your love is so amazing to us. And don't ever doubt in your dark hours that the Lord is not hearing you, he is my dear friends and he loves us all so very much.
Like I said "there is a big plan for all of us, we may have to walk through hell but he has such a big plan for us. Tom reminded me about a story in the Bible and of course I can't remember it " also I have to admit I'm not one that reads the Bible, started as a child and had so many questions, was not happy with the answers the Church gave me so my Bible reading ended.
But he reminded me about a story where the people had to go in the ring of Lions, knowing they would be killed, they went, strong and with no fear because they so loved the Lord and had trust in him.
Now we are facing so much pain and if we keep the faith I do believe God has big plans for us. We just have to be strong and know he loves us and face our horror with out fear.
I hope I'm making since right now, my brain is a mess, can't find the words I look so hard for. I'm a brain fog mess but more then ever in my whole life I feel the love of god and the love of you all and it's because of you and your faith and your prayers that he showed me he hears you.
I wanted to answers all your question about LadyBugs meds, what the Vet. said and more but please forgive me tonight. Tomorrow will be a better day, God willing and the sun will shine.
I LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH and the taste of the sweet tears you give to me are the best taste in the world.
Rest in peace tonight and remember he can hear you and I plead he hears me and helps my loves to heal because you are the very best folks in the whole wide world.
xoxoxoxoxoxox love, Suebe
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Post by overandover on Sept 27, 2009 18:02:21 GMT -5
I got back my most resent Pet/Cat Scan and the doctor tells me I have more like 3 years and not the 1 year they told me I'd be here, said I responded very well to the chemo. I had 4 rounds of Carboplatin and VP16 and in the middle of that I did 30 chest radiation visits in 15 days (the new England Med. Journal) advises doctors to do the rad. twice a day and not the once a day they have just finished a study showing that there is a 20% better chance it will work doing it twice a day for 15 days, 6 hours apart. That was a pain in the you know what.
But I got through it and I'm still here, still got Morgellons, so wondering if we will have to bomb this chit out of us?
I did started having big blood problems the last 2 rounds of chemo. I've had to get blood from 4 strangers (and found out from Red Cross) that they DO NOT test the blood in USA for parasites, nope they stopped testing for it in the 1980's because it cost to much to test and as they said, not much chance of it. WHAT? Have they looked at our country lately. We are a mix of everyone from everywhere, so back to the parasites jump off at the boarders?
I'm, feeling very blessed folks and very thankful for all your prayers, believe me I don't have much faith in the treatments. The doctor said to me the other day, I got you well and you still don't trust me, whats that? Sorry pal "it's a side effect of Morgellons"
But I did have to thank him for the pain relief because I did feel better pain wise once I started chemo.
I'll still be getting treatments for my blood the next three weeks. I've been getting shots on day four of chemo all along, but they are 5K each and insurance has told us no once because I'd not waited 11 days before needing the next shot. The drug is called Lunesta (sp?) I get it in my belly and it makes my bone marrow go into overdrive to fix my blood. It's side effect is bone pain but nothing I can't handle, can pretty much handle anything after full blown Morgellons.
So thats my good news and I'm so thankful to all of you, You guys have been through it all with me, always there for me. I couldn't find better friends in this world. And I wish God could here our prayers for Morgellons relief.
There has to be a big lesion here somewhere, maybe he has really big plans for all of us one day. Maybe we are the ones, I sure know you all are the very best and I love you all so so very much.
Now my bad news Last week I started smelling that funky Morgellons smell real bad in my home. Tom said he didn't smell it so now I'm sure the man has a clogged up nose because it smelled so bad.
About 3 months ago he took the dogs into for shots and i ask him to have her look at a knot on Ladybugs back, he did and she "the Vet." said to tell me not to worry it was only a small cyst.
Well the smell was my dog, the knot had a hole inside it and now looked like a lesion, so off we went back to the Vet. She pushed on the lump and a fiber ugly nasty stinky fiber ball as big as my thumb came popping out of there. And lord did it stink, so we found the smell.
She did a culture on some of the black gel that came out of the hole and it came back Pseudomonas Aeruginosa. I tried to look it up a bit today but still pretty brain fogged here, this thread is taking me forever cause I've been having big problems spelling, anyway here some of the things I read about it that sounded very familiar It has a cell to cell signaling system It can survive in almost any environment It has flagellum for movement and it has a bio film.
Please say a prayer for my dog, she's had problems with Morgellons in the past and ended up getting several skin grafts because of it, now it's come back and we can't afford the treatments we had to get for her back in 2004, much has changed in the past 5 years as it has changed for all of us.
She has been such a good friend to me.
Anyway thats what I've been up to, good news, then bad, it's that a Morgs life or what?
Also Friday I went to get up out of my chair and didn't realize my whole leg was numb, went down on my foot.
Did you here a poor foot screaming? Get her fat A$$ off me.
Well that was my poor foot, so I'm down again, foot is very swollen but not black so I didn't go to the hospital. I've had it with doctor visits for a while and just couldn't bring myself to go to the ER.
Wow I didn't mean to write a book here.
THANK YOU, I LOVE YOU, xoxoxoxoxoSuebe
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Post by overandover on Sept 17, 2009 9:49:06 GMT -5
;Thanks everyone for your comments and thanks Toni Sue for putting the picture on here for me. I still have several samples I want to show you all, there were many in that blood clot, they are very small, this one is about the size of 2 grains of salt, the blood clot was about 3/4 inches long but as it broke down over night is when all these little suckers came out of the clot. It's like I got a nest of what ever it is, out. Now I kinda understand why, when ever I clean out a lesion with in 11 or 12 hours I'll find another morgie thingy in it, maybe they grow in nest, Lord i hope not. My blood is very bad right now, I've had 2 transfusions in the past 11 days and one unit of platelets, blood work still coming back bad. But for the first time in almost 5 years I'm finding puss in my lesions and they are getting real red, hot and inflamed. And I'm so confused because my blood is so bad right now, you'd think I don't have enough white cells to come to my defense. Thats the one thing that always made my neurologist believe me. He has always said if this was "just you" picking at your skin then you would have all kinds of infections because we all have bacteria on our skin. So what is it? ?? Is Morgellons something our bodies don't recognize as a invader? Dose it eat our bacteria? Is it made of us "our own tissue" just growing out of wack like cancer? Then where do the bugs come into it? Is the gel like our lymph gel? And most important what are those damn fibers? I cleaned out a lesion on my arm last night and I'd swear it looks like ants forming, just like how are babies look when they are forming inside us. I'm so sick of being sick with this, so sick of the weakness I feel. Now cramping has become part of my horror, I wake up several times a night with cramps in my legs, arms, belly and it hurts so bad I have to use every ounce of my energy to get out of the bed. It may be a side effect of the chemo, most likely, but the morgellons and cancer mix makes me all the more confused as to whats what. I just want me back so badly or I want the hell out of here. Billi Sue's baby boy is due the first of December, they are naming him Mason Joshua, I have to hang in here and hold him in my arms. I don't fear passing this on to him because every time I go out to visit them I see the black specks and fibers everywhere. I want to scream my head off because i see this horror in my child's house, but I have to keep my mouth shut because it would offend them and make her angry, she tells me she knows Morgellons is real, but she just can't get her mind wrapped around how bad it is, no one can till they feel it as in full blown. My wonderful sweet son in law has the fiber cuts all over his fingers and lesions on his scalp all the time, he calls them bug bites and says bugs come after him, I know the feeling, well. Sorry for my little vent there, today is a bad day. But I still say Morgellons is 100 times worse then cancer. It just blows my mind how the doctors work so damn hard to help me with the side effects of Chemo., radiation, cancer pain, it's OH how many pain pills would you like dear, you can have as many as you want. I'm taking the best nausea meds in the world. But yet, mention Morgellons and they get angry like you've wasted their time, get out. If they only understood the pain and suffering of Morgellons is a million times worse. Why can't they see it? Why don't they even look? I will try and post so more pictures later today. By the way my ear is feeling much better the pass two days. I'm hoping I put a end to that one, for good, now on to the next. ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D ;D Toni what size should I use for my pictures, thank you for all your help my dear friends. xoxoxoxoxoxo Suebe
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Post by overandover on Sept 15, 2009 18:28:36 GMT -5
I'm still trying to get the picture here on the board, all i get is that This is the link Help me please, thanks and my love to all, xoxoxosuebe
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Post by overandover on Sept 15, 2009 18:26:39 GMT -5
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Post by overandover on Sept 15, 2009 18:12:40 GMT -5
I'm so freaked out about this thing, there's more then one. My right ear has been giving me a fit, it hurts and the movement is driving me insane. Every week or so I go in there with my needle nose tweezers and clean out a very big lesion deep in my ear, I'm very careful as it's so close to my ear drum and believe me if you ever so lightly touch your eardrum you get one hell of a ouchhhhhhhhhhhhhhh I always get the normal morgie looking stuff out of the lesion but it aways starts bugging me again. Yesterday it was driving me nuts with the movement feelings, like a crawling and whipping feeling. When i got in the I felt something sticking out of the lesion so I pulled and as God is my witness, IT PULLED BACK, so I pulled harder and got a worm looking thing out. Within seconds i felt pressure in my ear and I thought, oh no and you went and did it. God knows I don't need a diagnosis of a cutter, isn't that what they call folks that hurt themselves, lol I went in again and felt something real big so again I pulled on it and got out a very large blood clot, about 3/4 inches long. I dropped the clot in a little cap of alcohol and left it over night. Today I can see where it fell apart and there is stuff that came out of the clot and it's not just blood. This thing has teeth like thingies on it, looks like there is 3 more like this one in the cap, 2 of them have "a arm" like thing, all have these teeth like things. It took me forever to get this one posted as I keep forgetting how too, sorry Toni (my pic posting teacher) Bless your heart you showed me right but my morg brain is well a morg brain, I try. I just had to show this to you all and will try to get more done tomorrow, i can't wait to hear what you all think it is. Honest they have "teeth like thingies' How do I even begin to show this to a doctor. And would he even look? Love to all xoxoxoxox Suebe
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FIRE
Sept 4, 2009 11:31:17 GMT -5
Post by overandover on Sept 4, 2009 11:31:17 GMT -5
Has anyone tried to call her, anyone have her number? I'm so scared for her. To much on her plate right now, she didn't need more.
God please be with her and her animals, her heart is so good and pure and animals know nothing but love, please keep them safe.
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Post by overandover on Sept 4, 2009 11:27:44 GMT -5
I've seen them in my bath room also, after i take off my cloths to shower I've seen them and wondered if they came out of me, good to know they come from the drains.
But did they smell me and fly up out of the drain to get a fungus meal?
It looks like one of the critters that came out of my hair when it fell out, I don't know if it was in my hair, under my scalp or what. But I do know it came out of my hair and didn't come up out of the drain.
Toni I've seen that dog face many times when cleaning out a lesion, looks just like a dogs face for sure.
Love to all oxoxoxoxox Suebe
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Post by overandover on Sept 4, 2009 11:15:31 GMT -5
Thanks so much Toni Sue, the way it looks "fiber like' really caught my attention. Things have been going "not so good" lately with my chemo. side effects and it seems I'm at the doctors in the Chemo. room or down at the blood center more then at home. Thank you so much for looking it up for me, you are my hero and will always call you my Dr. Toni expert in research, you don't need the PHD or MD sweetie, cause you know how to step out of the box, more like a PhD, I'd say. Md's get a day long class in school, it's called STEP OUT OF THE BOX BREAK YOUR MOMMAS BACK. Anyway I've seen where PH D'S are more open minded, guess they don't get the class ;D Didn't mean to go on there, I want so bad to understand all about this new bacteria but even if you sat right here with me and told me I wouldn't get it, my brain fog has hit a all time high and I'm feeling more like a slug each and everyday. Thank you so much Toni Sue, you are such a sweet person and I've been blessed to know you. Your images will one day be in medical books, I just know that, once we get the truth of what this is out, what ever it is? I was thinking while reading your findings, the winter i became full blown, late Oct 2004, it was so cold here, I was a early menopause lady and now always very very cold or very very hot, anyway every morning I'd sit by the oven with it on to 250 and leave the oven door cracked while i had my coffee, my kitchen was so cold to me anyway. I use to tell tom I smelled a dead rat and he'd say Idon't smell it, Josh didn't smell it, was just me. So they would giggle at me. Well that summer I had to call Sears cause the oven needed repair, when he pulled it out there was 2 dead mice back behind my stove. Now I'm wondering if I was bite by a flea that had sucked the blood of those mice. OH yuck, the thought will make me get sick. OK OK thank you again sweetie. I love you big time, you are a true gem for looking it up for me. xoxoxoxox Suebe
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